Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Alien Sex Fiend – Stuff the Turkey

Greetings you foul creatures of the night. How’s your week been going so far? Did you erect a black christ’s mass tree with a Satan tree topper and get thoroughly pissed off your face on winter ale and fart all over someone’s holiday baking? I definitely did not do exactly that (who the fuck makes rice krispie squares for the holidays.. communists.. that’s who.). Anywho, I’m glad we were able to clear that all up.

Are you guys loving the festive nature that Drunk in a Graveyard has undergone? Isn’t it just right FUCKED? I agree. I don’t know what your answer is, but I agree. Last week we went really fucking sideways over here, which was the result of vaping (I know, I know) some really high grade medical marijuana and falling into a youtube hole of the best variety – the spoopy and goth variety.

I have to say I posted the Abney Park article to the actual band’s page and didn’t hear jack, so they either assumed we are mentally deficient in some way or that we are too ridiculous for comment. I tweeted on twitter about what the fuck steampunk is and got only a couple lackluster responses, so if you’re out there with steampunk knowledge – please do share with us because I still am not sure as to what the shit steampunk is or why people love it so much.

Anywho this week I’ve got a fun little goth Christ’s Mass jam for you and this time I’m reaching way into the way back machine for some Alien Sex Fiend. Okay – roll call, who remembers jamming out to Alien Sex Fiend? I had a stack of CDs by Alien Sex Fiend that I fucking stole from a pawn shop because I didn’t have enough to buy them all, so I bought one and stole the others. IM SORRY. I WAS GOTH AND LIKE 15. Fuck I love Alien Sex Fiend and have such fond memories. I wrote “alien sex fiend” in white out on one of my binders in 9th grade and I got sent to the office for it, because I’m so fucking HARD.

Minus the chain, this is a rough approximation of what I looked like in 9th grade. SO FUCKING TR00

Anywho, now that that’s all squared away.. again. Look. I love fucking goth music, like gothic death rock GARBAGE. I tried to show some Alien Sex Fiend to Scotty Floronic in prep for writing this piece and Scotty Floronic was not impressed. Look, we all can’t have grown up on Pantera and Eyehategod and shit like that.. You don’t understand me, MOM.

This particular track is a fucking doozy and really, if you read the lyrics, it sums up everything about Drunk in a Graveyard that you really need to know. This song is pretty much all about getting drunk as fuck and engaging in holiday appropriate bacchanalia.

Stuff the turkey
That’s bootiful!
Boo-boo-bootiful!

Have you ever wondered
Why Santa’s cheeks are ruby red?
He’s not jolly
He’s off his head.
Pull a cracker
Pull up a chair
Have some of this
It will remove your hair.

Stuff the turkey
It’s no time to fast
Enjoy this Christmas
It might be your last.

Let’s make this Christmas
One to remember
Let’s stay drunk
From January till December.
I’ll stuff your stockings
With passion fruit
Loosen your tie
Get outta that suit.

Stuff the turkey
It’s no time to fast
Enjoy this Christmas
It might be your last.

(heavy bit)
It only comes
But once a year
Stop drinking coffee
And have a beer.
Pull a cracker
Pull up a chair
No time to be sober
Just one long bender!

Stuff the turkey
Stuff the turkey
It’s no time to fast
Enjoy this Christmas
It might be your last.

Stuff the turkey
Stuff the turkey
Stuff the turkey
Stuff the turkey
Stuff the turkey
Stuff the turkey

Anyways, that’s about it for this week hep cats. But seriously, allow me to leave you with this, if I haven’t 100% sold you on Alien Sex Fiend.