Outta My Way, I Gotta Spoop!

HO HO HO-LY CRUNCHY BROWN LEAVES IT’S OCTOBER, JACK, AND JILL-O-LANTERNS!

We over here at the Graveyard love Hallow’s Eve in a BIG way, enough to easily solidify its spot as our numero uno favorite holiday. It combines all of the things we love together to become one of the grandest debuts of debauchery and delinquincy I’ve ever had the downright divine pleasure of diving into.

WHAT MAKES HALLOWEEN GREAT?

#1: MONSTERS

Monsters are a beautiful knife edge in our society because people generally tend to be HYPER DOWN with them or utterly despise them. I think they capture some of that lost childhood magic, from back when we were on the verge of confronting our “boogeyman” for the first time. A “boogeyman” moreover commonly being an event or area that we regard as piss-britches terrifying from a young age. I remember mine like it was yesterday and the nightmares that accompanied it. My parents’ friends moved here at the same time as us and purchased a home which looked 200 years older than it actually was It had unfinished, weathered wood siding, moss growing in the roof shingles, and linoleum kitchen flooring, but what I will never forget about that place, was the laundry room. A single long pull-string attached to a hanging poorly-wired bulb. Long past white appliances and pressboard shelves. It could only have been about six or seven feet long, but at the end was a hole, just big enough that when I crouched as a child I could peer in. I remember reaching in without crossing the threshold to touch at the air, feeling how much colder it was between my fingers.

I remember hearing chuckling.

Raspy, far away chuckles.

Or maybe I don’t remember that. Maybe I concocted it with my imagination at that young age. Maybe in my dream, I shouldn’t have finally stepped into that webbed and dust-choked hole and followed it’s impossible labyrinth.

I may never have SEEN anything, but what I felt, and that rush of inquiry, the NEED to attain knowledge and answers to the impossible, putting form to the formless, that is what monsters are to me.

#2: CANDY

If I have to explain why candy is good, we probably shouldn’t be friends.

#3: MUSIC

THRILLER.

THE MONSTER MASH.

SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS.

THAT SOUND OF A SMALL CHILD LAUGHING IN AN ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL,

The souuuuuuuuuunds of the season!

#4: CRUNCHY M-F’N LEAVES.

In poetic form:

The way they plummet,
Against the grass,
If Fall is a dick,
Then fuck my ass.

#5: HALLOWEEN PARTIES!

Put the effort in this year and be something outrageous for 6 hours without judgment! Do something you’d only do under the cover of a witchy moon with the closest of your coven.

HERE ARE TUNES OF SPOOP. I WILL BE ADDING MORE AS THE MONTH GOES ON. TELL ME YOUR FAVOURITES TO GET ‘EM ON THE LIST!