Apocalypse Rising

Apocalypse Rising  (2018)
Writer – Gregory P. Wolk 
(based on his book Dead S.I.T.E)
Director – Richard Lowry 
Runtime – 83 minutes
Giant Meteor Films
“They came from a doomed world to save us from the same fate”
Silliness, telepathy, various biblical references, skimpy outfits, puzzled looks and ‘procreation’ abounds in this genre diverse offering from Giant Meteor Films.
Imagine if you will a planet beset and overrun by undead hordes where it’s gotten bad to the point that deodorant and perfume (even those advertised by leading movie stars) is useless. This is the predicament, of course it’s worse than merely this, a small collective (our heros in this case) left behind in search of a better world cramped aboard a craft oddly shaped like an thickly veined excitable member boasting an extra set of testes.

I present to you, our unlikely heroes looking rather like an industrial outfit if I do say so myself and not, as you might have assumed, a picture of a craft resembling an erect cock.

The world they land on is our own (strange though that they didn’t get shot down as they plummeted through the atmosphere) at a time when the Pope is rumoured to be the antichrist. Well, come to think of it that’s probably not too far fetched.
The story continues and hilarity finds itself prominently on the menu within no time. Following the bidding of the Order of the Enlightened a nun of sorts hopes to guard a stone from the evil clutches of the Vatican, whilst a small group of visitors, the same ones who’ve managed to escape their uninhabitable home planet (Rathe) which was overrun by undead hordes as if you weren’t paying attention before, are cavorting with an open minded archeologist somewhere in the Middle East. Against her better judgement the (let’s just call her a…) ‘artifact seeker’ slowly comes around to the possibility that they’re from another planet, what they’re saying isn’t so ‘out there’ and that something disasterous, apocalyptic even, looms upon Earth’s not so distant horizon.

Odds are, this guy can’t help you now either.

The otherworders are an intriguing bunch within their ranks is an empath (who travels and converses with her dead Father’s head, in a bag, not too worry however as it’s a nice one not the store variety where the handles are prone to breaking) a barbarian-esque warrior (let’s call him Conan for influence sake. Although his given moniker is Magnum, because he’s BIG…get it?!) He comes complete with numerous tattos, the Joker being one of them (wha-! Do they even have superheros, or even comic books, on Rathe), and a pilot among others all of whom bear witty repartee, supermodel good looks and bodies which only hours, a day, of abuse at the gym can produce.
Unrestrained “procreation” (cue that funky seventies music) in the open, and at the oddest of moments add to the films quirky allure whilst character interaction oftentimes delivered straight faced in close proximity to the aforementioned carnal activities, a story which is patched together based loosely on the Bible hangs by the thinnest of threads. But not to worry the comical dialogue only makes it that much more endearing, in actuality it’s hard to dislike Apocalypse Rising.


On screen antics offer much to grin upon, cheif among them an uncovered artifact, from the bed of the dry Dead Sea, thousands of years old and written in English it states simply The Dead Site – which is uncannily much like the sign above on the dig site to which the Doctor states “Perhaps the intern left a word off?”
The movie carries on much the same way, with its tongue lovingly caressing the inside of its cheek, and sports a great deal more to get excited about, especially if like me you often enjoy frequent forays into cheese town by way of B movie/low budgetsville.
Biblical prophecies are explored then expanded upon, science fiction clashes with fantasy and horror elements, a revenge plot is hatchef, an over sexed crazed nympho straddles a monolithical undead phallus (in an early stand out scene that makes minimal sense but is hard to forget), lazerbeams are in the same shot with axes, clashes with numerous rotting types and a wicked maelstrom uses up the entiretyof the CGI budget. But most impressive is that Apocalypse Rising displays a familiar vibe (think Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars) complete with love interests and an epic soundtrack. Fans of eighties fantastical celluloid will more than likely be able to detect other influences including, but not limited to, Deathstalker and a slew of genre treats (most residing in the low to zero budget realm) directed by a mind more infinitely famous for his cult undead fare.
Needless to say this film doesn’t take itself too seriously, a factor which only aids it’s emjoyment, so much so (I’ll add without reservation) to make it a must watch for fans of iconic features in the same vein. Return of the Killer Tomatoes comes to mind as well notorious cinematic output from the Troma stable and more recently (a favorite of mine) the crimson soaked sleaze fest Party Bus to Hell (no matter what how the title is switched around).
And although Apocalypse Rising doesn’t offer nearly as much skin as Bus Party (Party Bus) it still boasts a hefty amount of spilt claret with enough effects to sate the thirst of the B movie enthusiast without dipping into territories some might deem gruesome.
Anyway you slice it, Apocalypse Rising was a fun view well worthy of taking time out for.
Your slave to cinema that isn’t afraid to poke fun at itself

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