Evil Aliens (2004)

Evil Aliens (2004)
Written and Directed by Jake West
Runtime – 90 minutes
Falcon Film Productions 
Weird Worlde reporter Michelle ‘Foxy’ Fox (played by Brit scream quenn Emily Booth) and a motley crew of semi professional film makers join a leyline fanatic Gavin Gorman (who’s a dead ringer for Derek from Bad Taste in both appearance and personality) and travel to the deepest, darkest part of Wales to investigate some strange goings on/UFO visitation phenomenon.

Utter bollocks! But if we can make a few quid from it, I’m all in!

Holly (Norman Lovett from Red Dwarf series fame) makes an appearance as the financer and drives the team onward in a bid to boost ratings for the struggling show regardless of the claims validity.
Upon arrival, and after realizing the area will be cut off from the mainland as the tide rolls in, the team meet up with the Williams clan, most of which grunt incoherently (in Welsh). As well as being the only member of the family who can speak English Cat believes she’s been impregnated and not by her recently deceased boy friend whom she frolicked with on the site of the nearby historical ruins on the night of the supposed encounter.
“The mainland police say they don’t have a protocol for an alien invasion but they wished us a nice evening…bastards!”

There are easier ways to get an autograph you know.

A comedic OTT homage in part to Xtro and Insemnoid, Flight of the Navigator and an unmistakabe amount of love for films in the same vein as Undead and Bad Taste whereas buddies fight alongside each other sharing jokes and tips of dispatching of their foes along the way “The headshots’ the only TRUE stoppa!”
Evil Aliens boasts not only (in my opinion) one of the most vivid scenes of anal probing ever set to film (what a way to staet a film!) but also an ungodly amount of ‘splatstick’ (great word, I only wish I could claim and trademark it!) comedy, splatter and otherworldly schnanigens and that’s only taking into account the relations between the film crew and the locals.
Scenes involving industrialized lawncare equipment bring to mind Lionels antics in Dead Alive (Brain Dead for those in AU and NZ) and even a scene in Zombie Holocaust albeit with a motorboats propeller being the ‘weapon’ of choice .
Others involving projectile alien infants and mind controlling nasal implants bring to mind a wide swath of influence from decades past.

“Whoopee-fuckin’-do you managed to kill one whole alien…impressive!”

Even when the crew are being chased there still exists a strong bond, a feeling of comadere albeit draped in a blanket of dark humor.
A priceless scene, one of many, occurs when an alien grabs a shotgun then immediately proceeds to shoot itself.
Another scene worthy of mention, among many more too numerous to list, is the ‘motivational Farmers music’ scene in which one of the main characters drives a combine harvester to The Wurzels (‘I got a combine harvester’) soundtrack whilst plowing over, across and through several otherworldly helmeted antagonists.

Sweet alien jizz Batman Derek is getting some alien tail.

Other than being awash in crimson, dismemberments, guts and humor Evil Aliens boasts a jam packed adrenaline fueled storyline (there’s never a dull moment) a great cast, dialogue which will put a smirk on any long-time low budget cheese fans face (you know who you are!) and great character interaction.
Emily Booth heads the cast as a presenter who really doesn’t believe in the unexplainable but plans to exploit it anyway. Jamie Honeybourne portrays Gavin Gorman (the closest I’ve seen another character come to Peter Jacksons Derek in Bad Taste) whose lifes dream of making contact (and the rest – details witheld to avoid plot spoilers) has come to fruition. His is a character who steals every scene he’s in be it either with his quirky antics, witticisms or facial expressions. He has my reccommendation to play Derek in a Bad Taste 2 if it ever becomes a reality. Llyr Williams, one of the three grunting Welsh fellas, is played convincingly by Christopher Adamson who incidently is also famous for playing Mean Machine in the first adaption of 2000AD’s Judge Dredd on the big screen (the one with Sly Stallone as the great unsmiling one himself! “I am the Law!” – Sorry couldn’t resist!) as well several roles in The Pirates of the Carribean franchise.

I was expecting a pic of Judge Dredd. Weren’t you? It’s gotta be around here someplace. Keep looking.

Other cast members do a bang-up job of adding to the films allure making this a feature the viewer won’t soon be able forget in a hurry.
Jake West is also known as the director of Razor Blade Smile (poster seen in this film), Pumpkinhead Ashes to Ashes and Doghouse. His newer credits include a long list of documentaries on subjects as wide ranging as the literary works of Clive Barker through films as notable as Phantasm.

The first of two installments courtesy of Severin Films

Also of interest is that he compiled extensive research and produced extensive material on ‘the’ list of films deemed too offensive for the British to view plucked from the 1984 Video Nasty offensive and lists compiled by the authorities (also the BBFC I would imagine) at the time (some features still remain on the same list and are still yet to be allowed to be witnessed by the Islands population).
Sadly, Evil Aliens has never garnered the praise it deserves. So, if you will, consider this my contribution in supporting/raising awareness of a feature that remains one which makes most think of/mention a low budget made fir tv sci-fi feature starring (the chin himself) Bruce Campbell (which is actually called Alien Apocalypse from 2005). Evil Aliens warrants more than an often misguided mention, it deserves much more and discovery, especially for those amongst us who thrive on genre films drenched in claret and comedy.
So what are you waiting for? Seek this out and prepare to add another title up thee with the greats in the same pantheon.

You seriously didn’t think I’d end this without a nod to the visionary goremeister Peter Jackson…do you?

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