HEY GIRL, IS THAT 90’S CHOKER FAKE OR DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE BOY BANDS?

Growing up semi-rural and white meant that we spent a lot of time listening to the radio in the car, so much so as to get noticeably excited when we would hit a big city and get to scan through all their stations.

No one in my family likes the same music.

Between my brother wanting to listen to anything that said “bitches and money” repeatedly, my mother humming hymnals, my father just wanting a “GOD DAMN MINUTE OF SILENCE”, and yours truly asking politely for hair metal or Sherlock Holmes audio books, our car trips were always wrought with micro-aggressions about what the others liked and why they shouldn’t like it. Coming from an extremely musical family, you’da thunk that we’d all have had a little more understanding about how VAST a spectrum music truly is.

BUT WE’RE HARD-HEADED, SO JUST THE TOP 40 INSTEAD.

. . .Guess who grew up when all the Top 40’s belonged to teenagers with frosted tips, bop-punk girls, and whatever the fuck Eiffel 65 are. . .

*distant echoes*

“. . .yaboiii. . .”

And I have been WAITING.

WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL, DISGUSTING DAY.

It’s not the first day of the month when I generally like to give you a playlist, but there is a reason for that, and a reason that it was absent earlier. I look at the calender on the first of this month, saw today, and KNEW EXACTLY when and where it was going to happen. Anyshoe, without description or much of an introduction, this is: