Rigby Explains Resident Evil 4 AKA The Best One

Resident Evil 4 aka the BEST one

residentevilheader

  • My main man Leon is back on the scene
  • Since his terrible first day on the job where he showed up late and hungover, he’s somehow become an elite special agent
  • The President of the United States sends him to Spain to rescue his daughter Ashley, who was kidnapped
  • Ashley is so irritating I’m surprised the kidnappers didn’t just give her back with an apology note and a new outfit
  • Seriously, her outfit in this game is TRAGIC
  • Leon looks great as always
  • Anyways, some dudes are driving Leon to this extremely rural and haunted ass village
  • They get ATTACKED by a dude and crash the car (way to go guys)
  • Leon gets separated from them and wanders around trying to make his way to the village
  • On the way he finds a CUTE DOG with its leg stuck in a trap, and since Leon is everyones hero, he saves it
  • Upon arriving at the village he find a bunch of hicks roaming around and also the dead body of his driver
  • Leon is like “Well at least I’m not hungover for this one” and starts shooting them all/giving them rad flying kicks to the face
  • Leon spends a lot of time shooting villagers and a dude with a chainsaw until eventually a church bell rings and everyone just kinda stumbles away
  • Leon straight up says “where’s everyone going? BINGO??” like he didn’t just about get his head sawed off his body or anything
  • What a cool guy
  • Turns out these are all people infected with a mind controlling virus called LAS PLAGAS which is like this games version of the T Virus and they’re under the influence of a cult called LOS ILLUMINADOS
  • Leon finds all of this out from a dude he meets in a cabin named Luis who is pretty chill but also very suspicious
  • Leon and his new bestie get kidnapped and Leon gets infected with the parasite (oh no!!)
  • Maybe if he didn’t have bangs entirely covering one of his eyes he could have seen this coming
  • Leon escapes and meets this mysterious merchant who sells him various things
  • Whenever you run into him he laughs and then says WHAT ARE YEH BUYIN?
  • This is EXTREMELY fun to say, I really recommend you try it
  • Anyways, you can also sell him shit like fish and random eggs you find because why not
  • Leons like “oh right…the president’s daughter” and carries on his way across a lake
  • He has to fight DEL LAGO which is just a big dumb fish monster
  • Afterwards he eventually finds Ashley’s dumb ass
  • Ashley is very shrill and yells LEON!!! Constantly
  • You have to escort her through most of the damn game but you can shove her in barrels sometimes and get her later
  • Just don’t forget about her like I always do
  • Anyways while escaping with Ashley he has to fight a big mutant named EL GIGANTE
  • As hes fighting it, that dog from earlier comes and helps Leon!!
  • Leon’s like “hey it’s that dog from earlier!” and IT WAS THE DOG FROM EARLIER
  • After defeating the monster, He runs into the leader of the cult OSMUND SADDLER who gives a very long speech about how they’re both infected with the virus and Leon seems like he kinda half forgot about it even though he was infected less than a day ago
  • Leons like oh boy we should boogie, and they head to the extraction point but as you can imagine things go POORLY
  • They meet up with Luis and all get ambushed in a cabin and the helicopter got shot down
  • Things are going very poorly
  • After they leave the cabin they have to fight another EL GIGANTE but this time there’s no dog from earlier to help
  • Ashley and Leon stumble upon a castle and Leon’s like “oh cool lets hang out here, I’m sure it’s not full of traps, monsters, and doors with insanely convoluted and complicated locking mechanisms that will take 2 hours of gameplay to FIND THE STUPID THINGS YOU GOTTA SHOVE IN THAT DOOR OH MY GOD IT TOOK FOREVER”
  • So when they bust in the castle they meet the best character of the entire game: Ramon Salazar
  • He is HILARIOUS he’s a tiny little man in a short pants and a tri corner hat and he’s either 10 years old or 100 years old
  • Leon is just very tired at this point and is very unimpressed by this tiny dancing man
  • Salazar is like “I’ve sent my right hand to kill you!!” and Leon’s like “your right hand comes off?”
  • Which is just like, the most savage burn ever delivered to an evil villain in the most deadpan non plussed way imaginable
  • Leon straight up came for his whole life and killed him right then and there
  • Salazar somehow recovers from this burn and sends a bunch of monsters after Leon and Ashley
  • Including a bunch of blind ones with huge claws but their pathing  always gets screwed up and they end up rotating in corners
  • Anyways, Ashley starts bleeding because she’s infected with that virus and she FLIPS OUT and runs away and Leon is like I swear to god you poorly dressed moron I will put you in an early grave
  • But he actually goes and tries to rescue her because she gets kidnapped AGAIN
  • There is an EXTREMELY stupid part where shes like “oh im scared” and backs up against a wall that clearly has little slots where shackles can shoot out of and then she gets trapped against a wall and you have to use your sniper rifle to shoot her out
  • Eventually Leon kills Salazar and I was a little sad about it tbh
  • Luis shows up and hes like “whats up y’all I got some magic pills that will stop that virus spreading whoops I’m dead now” and gets killed by SADDLER who is the “brains” of this extremely stupid operation
  • Leon VOWS REVENGE because that’s just the kinda guy he is, but hey on the plus side they’re no longer infected
  • Ashley lives to shop at TJ Maxx another day
  • Ashley gets kidnapped AGAIN and Leon has to fight his old buddy Jack Krauser who is now of course EVIL and like weirdly in love with Leon??? Who isn’t though lets be real
  • Anyways Saddler and Leon finally have a stand off but guess who else is there
  • ITS ADA
  • Leon is super pumped to see her because hes extremely gay for her and I get why
  • Ada helps Leon fight Saddler because shes a bro like that
  • But she also wants a sample of the virus because shes quite the scallywag
  • Leon and Ada BLOW Saddler up with a ROCKET LAUNCHER and its extremely radical
  • Ada peaces out I think via a grappling hook(?) because shes essentially Batman
  • Leon and Ashley then escape the soon to be exploding island in another extremely radical way
  • VIA JETSKI
  • They blast away from an exploding island on a frigging jet ski they found in a cave and it was life changing to behold
  • Once they’re in the ocean chillin Leons like “oh shit we should call your dad”
  • Ashley is like “yo we should bang tho?” and Leons like “naw better not”
  • But you cannot blame a bitch for trying because she just saw him highkick people to death, kill several monsters, explode an island and then radically flee the scene on a bitchin’ jet ski
  • He’s every womans dream man lets be real
  • The dog from earlier remains at large

THE END

********************************

You can find Rigby on twitter shitposting about anime, soju and Godzilla.

Stay tuned for more Let’s Play steams from Rigby on her twitch and be sure to subscribe to her youtube channel.

Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and like us on facebook, Instagram, and on Twitter.

You can send us beer money on Patreon

You can find our podcast on iTunes, be sure to leave us a review if you are so inclined.

One response to “Rigby Explains Resident Evil 4 AKA The Best One

  1. Pingback: Rigby Explains Resident Evil 5 | DRUNK IN A GRAVEYARD·

Jimmies rustled? Wanna fight about it? Let us know why below!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.