Rigby Explains Resident Evil 2

Resident Evil 2 aka Leon and Claires big day out

Takes place 2 months after the first Resident Evil, in Raccoon City
Everyone’s either a zombie or has fled the city thanks to Umbrellas dumb ass T- Virus snafu
My main man Leon Kennedy rolls up to town on his very first day as a cop with the Raccoon City police department
He is extremely hungover/possibly still drunk and also late for his first day, so I guess this explains why he doesn’t notice EVERYONE IS A FUCKING ZOMBIE
Who shows up late and hungover to their first day on the job as a POLICE OFFICER
He just rolls up and is like “oh where is everyone”
Leon is so dumb but I love him and his floppy bangs
Meanwhile Claire Redfield is also in town looking for her hunky brother Chris
I have no idea why Chris would still be there or why he didn’t shoot Claire a quick phone call to tell her to steer clear of the entire area but WHATEVER
She’s like “hmm Chris isn’t here but there is a tremendous amount of horrible monsters”
She runs into Leon and they head to the police station and they’re both like “we did not think this through”
Imagine dealing with zombies when you were hideously hungover
Claire finds a note from Chris at the police station (??) that explains he left to investigate Umbrella in Europe
Hey Chris, you know phones exist right?
These two absolute buffoons decide to SPLIT UP and look for other survivors
Claire meets a little girl named Sherry who is a complete PAIN IN MY ASS and is running from a monster
Claire runs into Annette Birkin who is Sherry’s mom and also works for Umbrella, her husband William also works for Umbrella and now he’s a big dumb resident evil monster running around
I don’t know how Umbrella keeps finding employees
Anyways, I guess while they’re shooting the shit, Sherry wanders off like dumb children often do
Sherry and Claire split up to look for her dumb ass for SOME REASON
Leon meets up with Ada Wong who is a foxy babe looking for her boyfriend John who works for Umbrella
Leon and Ada are like the Ross and Rachel of the Resident Evil franchise
Turns out that the police chief was taking bribes from Umbrella to hide the experiments on the outskirts of town
I don’t understand this whatsoever, why would you ever do this
Claire tells Leon shes heading into the sewers (gross!) and he thinks that’s dumb but she takes off without listening to him
Leons like “why doesn’t anyone listen to me!!”
Because you’re dumb Leon
Annette runs into Ada and Leon in the sewer and freaks out because Ada is trying to steal a virus
So much virus stealing in this game its nuts!
Anyways, Sherry shoots at Ada and Leon takes the bullet for her because Ada is hot and Leon is a chump
Leon’s ok though because he’s too beautiful to die, Ada is just like “meh” and takes off after Leon gets shot
Annette tells Leon that Ada is actually a spy and Leon’s like “no I refuse to believe this because she’s hot and I’m stupid” but Annette’s like “congratulations, you played yourself”
That dumb Tyrant monster from the first one is also rocking around along with other various monsters and zombies
Sherry has a magical PLOT DEVICE necklace that contains a sample of the G Virus and Ada, Annette and William are trying to get their greasy mitts on it
Ada is like “wait a minute, Leon is actually hunky and I regret abandoning him” and goes back to tend to his wounds in hopes that one day he will tend to her wound
If you get what I’m saying
Meanwhile Claire has reunited with Sherry and turns out that her dad implanted her with an embryo (GROSS!!) that can produce offspring
This is fucked and seems to happen in A LOT of horror games
Leon, Ada, Claire and Sherry all yuk it up in a factory trying to get out of Raccoon city because things are going extremely poorly for everyone involved
William shows up and stabs Ada with his stupid claw arm and she KISSES LEON and then she DIES
Leon is very upset but that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth
BUT WAIT! After Leon leaves, it turns out Ada is just unconscious and Leon can’t tell the difference between a dead person and a sleeping person
Sleepovers he had as a child must have been very emotionally taxing on him
Annette is like HEY BOZOS IM STILL HERE and starts wildly swinging a gun around while trying to shoot Leon
A Tyrant pops out of nowhere and starts attacking her and Leons like “I’m tired and its my first day”
Ada appears (yay!!) and kills Annette but then she also dies (boo!!)
Ada falls over a railing and Leon gives her this big speech about how they were supposed to survive together
Leon is such an ABSOLUTE IDIOT after Ada dies he’s like “oh this is what everyone was after” and just CHUCKS the necklace off the railing
Annette tells Claire in her dying breath that she was a bad mom but whatever, and also tells her how to create a vaccine to stop whatever gross shit is going on with Sherry
Leon and Claire make the vaccine to save Sherry
Sherry is an annoying shit kid through this whole game, I mean I guess we’re supposed to care about her but I do not at all
William shows up and is like “IM STILL IN THE GAME!!” and attacks the train everyone is on
He is looking mega groady
A self destruct sequence starts because it’s a Resident Evil game and the train and William BLOW UP
Leon, Sherry and Claire escape Raccoon City
Leon is like “it’s over” and Claire is like “actually I still wanna find my brother” and Leon is like “oh right”

THE END

BUT WAIT! Ada survived! And she has the necklace! How lucky that Leon was so blasé about a virus that turns people into gross eyeball monsters
He’s not a very good cop but in his defense he only had the job for a day

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