Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty: Aka the one where you don’t get to play as Snake and everyone was REALLY mad about it

Prologue: Tanker Chapter

• Solid Snake and Hall Emmerich are straight chillin’
• Hal’s codename is OTAKU because he loooves Anime
• -I’m dead serious
• -anyways, they’re investigating the development of a new Metal Gear by the Marine Corps
• -Snake goes and checks out a tanker that transporting the weapon and there’s a bunch of Russian mercenaries being led by Colnel Gurlukovich, his daughter Olga, and my main bitch OCELOT!
• -Also, Ocelot has transplanted the right arm of Liquid Snake onto his body because now he’s missing an arm and its not like Liquid Snake was using it
• -Snake fights these clowns for a bit until he sneaks away and takes pictures of the new Metal Gear RAY
• -Ocelot meanwhile BETRAYS Colonel Gurlukovich because he’s Ocelot and it’s what he does
• -so Ocelot tries to pilot Metal Gear RAY but once he sees Solid Snake he goes all bonkers because Liquid Snake is possessing him via his ARM
  • -I’m serious
• -So everyone is like “ummm” and Ocelot/Liquid Snake flies away in the Metal Gear and the tanker sinks and everyone blames Snake and assumes his dumbass drowned
• -The CIA make a new tanker thing called BIG SHELL on top of the scene to cover it all up

Plant Chapter (This is where you play as Raiden for the rest of the game and people SPAZZED OUT)

– Raiden is a total bitch in this game, lets get that out of the way
-He’s brought into a reformed FOXHOUND to infiltrate the Big Shell tanker and to rescue some hostage and all the US president is kidnapped there as well by a terrorist group called SONS OF LIBERTY
-Their leader claims to be Solid Snake but its actually MUCH STUPIDER
-Sons of Liberty are backed by another rogue unit called DEAD CELL who kill most of the SEAL team members that were sent in to rescue the hostages
-They also have a member named Vamp who may or may not be a vampire(??)
-Raiden meets up with some remaining SEAL team members but they all get killed by a terrorist named FATMAN
-Raiden fights Vamp and kills Fatman, and then he goes to find where the president is located
-on the way he teams up with another SEAL tem member named IROQUOIS PLISKIN
-this is also the name of the main character from Escape from LA, which rules extremely hard
-Anyways, they start trying to transport hostages off the Big Shell with a helicopter but get attacked by the leader of the Sons of Liberty who says he’s Solid Snake
-Pliskin is like “this bitch ain’t Solid Snake!!”
-They all fight and eventually Metal Gear RAY shows up and fucks off with the bad guys
– Raidens like “well dang” and then Pliskin is like “Hey guess what! I was SOLID SNAKE ALL ALONG” and everyones like umm clearly
-Solid Snake and Raiden go locate the president who is still hanging out on Big Shell
-once they find him he’s like “guess what guys? This is actualyla huge cover up to hide a NEW Metal Gear called ARSENAL GEAR!” which is a pretty lame name for a Metal Gear
-He also tells them that democracy is a sham and the country is really run by a mysterious group called THE PATRIOTS and guess what else?? He wasn’t actually kidnapped at all but he’s helping his predecessor George Sears who is ALSO a clone of Big Boss!!
-boy is this dumb
-This one is called SOLIDUS SNAKE because hes the perfect merge of genes so he’s better than both Solid and Liquid Snake
-Solidus Snake has gone rogue with Dead Cell and now they want all the money for themselves and want to tell the Patriots to frig right off
-Ocelot hears all of this because hes CONSTANTLY creeping around in the background and hes like “things are getting too spicy for the pepper” and KILLS the president!
-Raiden tries to talk to the colonel but hes spazzing out and Otacon finds out hes actually..A ROBOT(??)
-Turns out he’s a super computer construct of the Metal Gear
– Also in the middle of all of this, Raidens girlfriend calls him and tells him shes PREGNANT
-Raiden and Snake go to find Solidus to kill him and end this confusing game
-They get captured by Solidus because they are actually not very good at their jobs
-Ocelot shows up again to say hes also a Patriot Agent that double crossed the president, and also FOXHOUND making him a TRIPLE AGENT and its EXHAUSTING TO THINK ABOUT
-Ocelot tries to kill some dudes for funsies but then he gets possessed by Liquid Snake again and says he’s going to kill all the Patriots and then leaves
-it was uncomfortable
-Snake is somehow mad about this and takes off to chace him, meanwhile Solidus and Raiden fight on a roof
-Ok hold onto your hat for this one
-The robot Colenl contacts Raiden and tells him that they’re ALL part of the Patriots and the whole purpose of Big Shell was to see how they could control human behavior and twist how people view events, so by having Raiden fight and kill Solidus, the news will pick up on that story and everyone will completely ignore the fact that there’s a tanker in the middle of the ocean making Metal Gears
-It’s kinda dumb, but Kojima was trying to make a statement with the game itself by being like “here’s a Metal Gear game and we put Snake on the cover and all the ads but haha you don’t get to play as Snake so I manipulated your emotions and perception about the game”
-People were REALLY mad about this when the game came out
-Anyways, Raiden is like “I don’t wanna kill this dude” but the Patriots were like “you gotta or we’ll kill your PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND” and Raidens like “oh dang you got me there”
– So he kills Solidus and then reunites with his girlfriend
-Snake also shows up at the end and hes like “ahh I couldn’t find Liquid Snake/Ocelot but I put a tracker on his Metal Gear so no biggie, whats for dinner?”
THE END

-Rigby

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