Blair’s 2017 Year End List: Twenty, Eighteen, S’all Legal In Canada


Last year was really something. We lost so many gods, silver screen and silver chord. Which is where permanence becomes topical, like how much you insinuate that you matter in the grand scheme of shit.

Ya probably don’t.

Tough cook’s, homie, but come dirt day many of us will be unlikely to have more than a handful of people who really matter roll up on the convex mound of earth that weighs us permanently down. Half of our society bobs around like we’re going to go AAAAALLLLLLLL the way back through their Instagram when they pass to reminisce about how sweet they were, but again, REALLY, that isn’t likely. They remember the wars far less clear than they should. Constantly imprinting ourselves digitally for a digital thumbs-up, sacrificing face time for Facetime.

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna say it. Social Media is killing us. It removes any previous integrity of what actually person-to-person interaction is. Would you buy that watch off Wish or AliExpress if you knew that some child somewhere had to tear those precious metals out of an old computer while wearing a rag for a mask to meagerly protect his frail self from the acrid venting pools of toxic chemicals and waste.

I’m gonna guess you still would, be it due to sheer convenience, cheapness, and the additional collateral of not really giving many shakes about other people. That is CURRENTLY the world we live in. Under a giant fucking orange croissant who wants to fight Asians for being Asian (racism) whilst constantly degrading a gender (sexism) AND purposefully lying to an entire nation (purgery). We need the newest, most mega-pixeled phone to replicate the vanity of superstars with no actual “worth”. The fastest car that eats the most fuel so we can get fast food even FASTER. Lying about our life and whereabouts to avoid absolute fucking pittances of interaction. Talking about your diet less that 60 minutes after slaughter an entire family of defenseless chicken wings.


Something about my current career path (bong salesman) has gifted me with “THE SIGHT”. 99% of the time, before someone gets through the threshold of my doorway, I know what they want. I know what they’re about, and I know EXACTLY how to both speak to them, and manipulate them. We all carry an aura (if you will) and it hangs from the shoulders of most individuals like a mantle, scarred with the determining hard lines of a hard life, whereas many others have an effervescence, nearly intoxicating so, of “REAL”. Meaning what they say without editing their words. Genuinely wanting even those who offend or wrong them to be undeservingly happy. I have told more than one individual to blow their sunshine out their ass and they have given me far more courtesy and patience than I should have been allotted, and THAT IS WHAT WHERE GONNA TALK ABOUT TODAY.

I want to stir the pot within you each enough to make you want to change.

Yeah, I get it, we’re all perfect and our lifestyles are exactly as unblemished as toner, bronzer, contour, mascara, eye liner, lipstick, blush, electric teeth whitening, and tanning beds make us out to be, the first step we can all take in truly being better people, is to truly judge our idols. Does your favorite musician have some really gnarly history of spousal abuse? Was your favorite artist crazy with a syphilitic mind when your favourite piece was painted? WHAT actually allows oneself to be quantafiably “of value”?

Let’s start by knocking off what we extrinsically need no encore of, like Lil Fucking Pump.

I made sure it was the no repeated words version, ’cause there is no way I anyone should have to suffer through MINUTES of this trash. No only has Pump completely switched his view on Xanax  after Lil Peep (fellow trapper) passed due his overdose. That’s all it took, just someone in the same PROFESSION to get one of the dumbest fucking people on this planet to understand the South Park classic, “Drugs are bad, m’kay?”. Now, I am not saying leave trap rap in the dust this year, as a matter a fact, dig in. All music has something redeeming somewhere in the vast fjords of its entirety. If I told you Lil Xan was a sub-twenty white kid with face tat’s who was literally preaching the gospel of “No Xan”, would you be any more interested in listening to his stuff that you would Pump or Peep? Again, probably not, because we are selfish as a species. If it isn’t about us we are not the mostly likely creatures to respond with interest. So my first task for all of you is to place those you wish to worship or emulate under more scrutiny, it will breed better artists and more honest fans.

THE SECOND SIN: Taking shit.

Did your significant other call you bitch? Did your boss make you take their shift so they could piss in the wind? How many shitty pizzas did you substitute for actual cooked food.

Man. . . my guy. . .DON’T STAND FOR THAT, LITERALLY EVER. Everyone has this tipping point, generally caused by a falling out with a lover, where you reestablish mentally what you are going to allow as acceptable behavior. Don’t wait on that horrid moment to be the catalyst for your improvement, as you are astoundingly capable of letting everyone who wants to be a part of your life know, RIGHT NOW, exactly what your boundaries are. You are the only person who lives your life and you should not accept silver when you deserve gold. If you are feeling like you have more to offer than 9 – 5 flipping patties, then go out there and get it. Own who you are, own what it means to be you, and anyone who wants to drag you under can feel the full eminence of your wake.

Bottled emotions lead to violent uncorkings, and it seems like a lost art to be able to steel yourself against the constant onslaught of proliferated hatred. Somehow, being mad at injustice (murder, rape, nazism) has become debatable. HOOOOOOW? Did enough people not die to solidify what we idolized as a “justice system”? How does a badge create a separate social class? Why can’t men cry and women control their own bodies without being emotionally-policed? Be whatever you need to be at any moment to keep yourself going, you will find greater strength within yourself than any other creature can give you.

THE FINAL SIN: The Wordless.




When someone is being treated unfairly, unkindly, and unjust, you say something. There is no middle ground, there is no “not your place”, your place is where you are and you validity to it is nobody’s fucking business. Man, I cussed a lot this round, guess I was making points. We are a populous and we will either succeed or fail as a whole. There can be no 1% without the functional consent of the other 99%, and that’s us. If you have a belief that challenges the norm with factual support, stick to your god damn guns. Let this be the year where we ALL react, not just film intolerable acts. Can you do that for me, dregs?

All my love, make this bitch OUR YEAR, not YOUR YEAR, because you are NOT SEPARATE from OUR WHOLE.

Chao, cucks.


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