Treading the Missed Mondays: Idea 46b: We Give The Birds . . . GUNS

CHILLINGLY WET HANDSHAKE, NOT LANA DEL RAYS.

On the horizon, five more days of implying to your coworkers that your boss/manager is scum and that you could do their job tenfold better. Another five days of choosing between Netflix or bedtime. Five more days of compartmentalizing emotional responses to all these fucking noobs.

There is little that I wouldn’t give to painlessly install a button on everyone that you could press when they were just “kinda being a dick”.

CONVERSATION SAMPLE

“-basically, I’ve been doing this since before you were born, KID.”

*poke button*

“Oh. Right. Wow. I sounded like a nutsack slamming into a leg in the breeze. Sorry, guy.”

Wouldn’t that be utopian? Now I’m going to introduce you to the mind-shattering concept of just using words. AS A PEOPLE, WE SORT OF NEED TO START TELLING PEOPLE WHEN THEY’RE NOT BEING LIT AND WHEN THEY ARE ACTUALLY BEING FUCKING PHILISTINE.
GET OLD WORLD.
THREATEN A RACIST BUS DRIVER.
BITE A DOG.
GRERAAAAAAAHHAHAHHHHHHHH!

LANTERN – BELOW

The first full length offering from Finnish Black Death-ers, with a sound pulling from artists like Morbid Angel, and Watain, and even Bölzer. “BELOW” has a very distant tone to the mix as a whole, with not many elements pressing heavily to the front. This issue was impactfully addressed on their most recent full length release “II: MORPHOSIS”, delivering a drastically more even mix and master, without sacrificing that “Void Soundscape” aesthetic. Probably just listen to both though, as both have songs which are more apex than others, but both are consistent and reminiscent of one entity.

EARLY MAN – BEWARE THE CIRCLING FIN

Layered guitar rock riffs, high vocal notes that he probably shouldn’t be trying to hit, but then you listen and you realize that Early Man doesn’t do that whole “explode the opening of a song” fad, just groovin’ for days which is a welcome change of pace for all of us. They have a 2014 album I haven’t crushed yet, so you may hear aboot that in the future, but for now I wanna talk about how sounding consistent can also lead to sounding sort of stagnant. With the album following this EP “Death Potion” there just wasn’t any real power behind a lot of the songs. Yes, the riffs are cool, but they aren’t “getting anywhere”, and they usually lacked more than one, singular, small, teensy, hook. So here’s hoping Early Man picked up how Vanilla that sounded as a whole and I’m just blown apart by the new one. Kthx.


INEPSY – BORN FOR THE ROAD

I had the pleasure of seeing these black denim-vested metal chargers a couple of time whilst I was growing up, and despite most of those evening involved some cuck yelling at some other cuck about coke money or their dog and then getting bashed in the head by a frying pan,

shiiiiiit, wouldn’t have been fun otherwise.

Inepsy blew though my home town more than a handful of times and never failed to impress. There is something to be said for a band that can play anything from a soundstage, to a live radio jam (perfectly btw), to the smallest basement shows BC could give ’em. Unfortunately, Inepsy’s days were numbered, as are everyone’s, and they disbanded. Guess they weren’t. . .

“Born for the Road”.

*HORATIO SUNGLASSES*

– BEAR

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