Sexual Sunday with Varg Vikernes: Flash in the Pan

vargmain

Dear Varg,

My boyfriend is really into exhibitionism, and lately he’s been wandering around the house naked and sometimes even masturbating a little.  I’m a bit concerned because we live in a residential neighborhood.  I don’t mind his fetish, but I don’t want to get evicted or arrested for being a sexual deviant.

Exhibitionist in El Paso


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Dear Exhibitionist,

Thank you very much for writing in to my column this week.  I feel in many ways that your good husband is acting in the ways of the great warriors of old.  Are you familiar with the Hollywood film Braveheart?  American actor Melanie Gibson flashes his privates before marching into battle as William Wallace.  Perhaps you two could avoid doing HARD 😉 time, and take your penile puppet show into the bedroom, or perhaps into your local church?

Best wishes,

Varg Vixen

Be sure to E-mail Varg with all your burning love advice queries and you may see them featured in a future issue of Sexual Sunday.

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