Sexual Sunday with Varg Vikernes: Side Salad


Dear Varg

K this one is gonna be kinda weird but I was in an orgy recently with these two sisters and a couple of other friends of mine and they were all really weird, but not like ugly weird, just, weird, you know?

I had a bad feeling about the whole thing, but everything seemed to be going ok, everyone was having a good time and I was doing this girl doggy and then I felt something on my ass, and I realized another man from the orgy was tossing my salad.

I was repulsed at first but I was too drunk to do anything about it and now I feel weird.

What should I do?

Tossed Salad in Tulsa


Dear Tossed Salad,

I must regret to inform you, that while I am quite pleased you wrote into my column with your asshole tweaking malady, that I am unable to offer sound advice as to the enjoyability of tossing one’s salad.  I am a meat and potatoes type of man, you see.  I am curious however, as to what variety of substances you were on and what variety of individuals you ‘hang out’ with that would lead to an orgy?

Perhaps next time you should bring some salad dressing, or risk making your own vinaigrette.

Best Wishes,

Varg Vinegar

Be Sure to E-mail Varg with all your burning love advice queries and you may see them featured in a future issue of Sexual Sunday.

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