Oh shit waddup cool cats (see what I did there?)!
Well, I’ve been away from the old Trash/Thrash column lately because I’ve been a sick old bastard. I ended up with an infected cat bite and then cat scratch fever, which apparently isn’t just a fucking Ted Nugent song.
#selfie
Also, just want to say that most medical professionals DO NOT laugh when you crack a Ted Nugent joke. Stuffy bastards, the lot of them.
Without getting into any disgusting specifics, cat scratch fever is like a shittier version of mono that makes most people sick for around a month, it’s all in all a shitty experience, 0/10 would not recommend. There’s also no treatment so you kinda gotta sack up or pack up and get the fuck on with your life and let your immune system do the work.
Anywho, now that I’m feeling better, I figured I would make my triumphant return with a little Nuge this week, except, you know, done better, by Pantera.
This one definitely goes into the Thrash pile. Enjoy!
Well, I don’t know where they come from but they sure do come
I hope they comin’ for me
And I don’t know how they do it but they sure do it good
I hope they’re doin’ it for free
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Well, the first time that I got it I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
An’ I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
I got a bad scratch fever
The cat scratch fever
It’s nothin’ dangerous
I feel no pain
I’ve got the choo-choo train
You know you got it when you, you’re going insane
It makes a grown man cry, cry, oh won’t you make my bed
Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand
They know they gettin’ it from me
They know just where to go when they need their lovin’ man
They know I’m doin’ it for free
I give them cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
They got a bad scratch fever
The cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Until next time, always pet the pussy, but wash your hands afterwards.
-RG