Treading the Missed Mondays: INSTA-KILL! DOUBLE POINTS! MAX-AMMO!

AND ON THE THIRD DAY, THE SOLDIERS GUARDING THE TOMB OF CHRIST MOVED THE BIG ASS CIRCULAR STONE OUTTA THE WAY, AND THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT “ROCK AND ROLL”.

Oh, hey! Glad you could join me to celebrate the inspiration for The Walking Dead. . .

I mean the Egyptian God, Heru. . .

Wait that isn’t it either. . .

Furries?

Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

Since I was a lad I’ve been more conscious of corporate greed than I ever needed to be, and thusly I knew that buying candy BEFORE the holiday (Easter/Halloween/Christmas) is what idiots do. Once everyone else has gone in and got their sweets, flowers, and filigree, I just wait until the next day when all that stuff drops by 50% in cost. To most non-Christians and non-Jews, Passover/Easter is usually just a time of family gatherings and extra days off work. Easter has been “Zombie Day” for about 12 years now and I celebrate it the same every year,

with pulverizing metal about zombies.

Slicing track one completely in twain is non-other than metal factotum’s, Cannibal Corpse.

Off their newest album, and definitely one of the most relentless offerings on the whole thing is “Kill Or Become”. Painting the most blank, full-coverage description about what it would come down to if fleshbags were tearing down the walls around you. Grab chainsaw, start chainsaw,

“HACK THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF”.

Pulling itself from the grave is our second piece of putrescence, off of Terrorizer’s most recent album (the aptly named) Hordes Of Zombies from 2012, is none of than the title track itself.

Taking all the flavours of bands like Napalm Death, Repulsion, and Carcass allowed Terrorizer’s some of the most potent building blocks in death metal history. Their first album “World Downfall” is still highly regarded as one of the more “fathering” albums in its genre, right up there with albums like “Entombed – Left Hand Path” or “Morbid Angel – Altars Of Madness”. Frontman Oscar Garcia also holds the title of one of the most improved vocal sounds over their three albums, never deminishing or underplaying the pure dominant power in his voice.

And lastly, stitching what bits of sanity it has together arrives unto us to sweet, sweet, Ghost. Now, over the past few months the allegations against Papa E have just swollen and grown like puss-y, festering tumour. That being said, there is good backing to say that he HAS heavily fucked over prior members of Ghost, and that the way he HAS handed the financial side of the band in a way that few human beings would call “fair”.

Still like Ghost doe.

Giving it up to the mother of malady, the empress of excrement, the princess of puke, Ghost gives us an intro with the essence of love songs come to pass, and a follow-up crowd song that puts lighters in the air faster than United Airlines puts doctors on the floor.

funny-united-airline-memes-9.jpg

Happy Zombie Day, Dregs.

– Bear.

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