Sexual Sundays with Varg Vikernes: Positioned for Love


Dear Varg,

What’s your favourite position?


Location, Location, Location, in Las Vegas


Dear Location,

Thank you most kindly for writing in to my column this week.  I find that the best possible position for enjoying some sensuous love making depends precisely on how much wild game I have consumed.  If I have recently eaten a large quantity of venison meats and my wife is feeling the desire for my seed, I find that I like to lounge on my back so she can manoeuvre around my belly while she does all the work ;-).  Women love it when you just lay there, much like a Sybian sexual arousal machine with a heartbeat.

Since I am also not some kind of selfish prig, I am no stranger to taking a good long whiff of my wife’s rump roast while I dine upon her derriere.  A nice tossed salad goes well with a fine cooked steak, and fulfills the qualifications for the paleo diet all the Hollywood bourgeoise pig dogs are obsessed with.

Best Wishes,

Varg “Venison Over Vagina” Vikernes

Be sure to E-mail Varg with all your burning love advice queries and you may see them featured in a future issue of Sexual Sundays.

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