SUNDERING BELLOWS OF WELCOME, COOL CATS.

In all our time together, I have yet to shove the biscuits I love most down your decadent sound canals, thusly today I am going to let narcissism reign and talk to you souly about MY favorite bands. As of late, exceedingly more and more of my acquaintances wish to know my “top bands” but that really isn’t the easiest thing to just bust out of ethereal nothingness. Calling something your “favourite” gives that thing more substance in the eyes of people who put any weight in your opinion. It reminds me of that Key & Peele sketch where four friends are sitting together and one of them says he doesn’t really like the Christopher Nolan Batman movies, and as the bit continues you come to realize the reason that the other judgemental friend won’t contribute to the conversation is because, well,

And that just says it. Especially within our clique-woven moral-hierarchy, people have honestly stopped forming opinions on things. They do jump off cliffs just because their friends do. Be it fear of exclusion from their social group or circle, or simply allowing very false, unchecked “facts” (clickbait and alike) be the basis for what they grow their opinions from,

So, as I prefix all these, let this one be prefixed the most:

Music is still subjective. These are my favorites and for an admittedly large portion, I couldn’t give you just one reason why I like these bands, or even tell you how I stumbled across them.

Top of the list, Germany’s very own chainsaw-loving war-mongers: SODOM.

A mainstay in their home country with over 14 albums under their belt, I stumbled across the song “The Saw Is The Law” from a dust-covered ep in a record shop when I was 13 and I knew that these guys had done it. It takes infinitesimally more work for a band that doesn’t speak English as it’s first language to not only come across as understandable to an audience that has grown up speaking that language, but they were doing it with vigor. With only one original member (Tom Angelripper) still driving the impressive tank that is Sodom, I expect that what allows them to stand out to me is maintaining a very consistent tone through almost their entire discography without wearing it out.

A little further from the beaten path in my subconscious, lies a band who has not only had such treatments as having the one and only Dan Seagrave do cover art for them, but put out superior quality in a time where whipping demos out of your basement faster than a frog jumping in a campfire was common place. I give you, Invocator.

This track with it’s various intermittent samples has always stuck with me, causing me to him it nearly every day for the past 5 years. Something about the one in the last few seconds kind of encapsulate the human condition as a whole:

“So when it comes to me, I have to deal with it, don’t I? So I go out in the desert, and I’m sittin’ in the desert, and I’m not bothering ANYBODY, and I’m just having a good day”.

Unbridled classic thrash, not striving to be technical for technicality sake, but to create ambiance, paint a picture, and have a point. Three very lost keys to musical creation if I do say so myself.

Now, this band right here though. THIS BAND RIGHT HERE!

Oh man.

Story time. Little 11-year old cub that I was, was just coming home from another hard day of elementary school, instructing my mother on all the superfluous things I needed, I decided that for whatever reason, THAT was the moment I needed to listen to the radio. I clicked the switch and rolled the dial over to the only good station in town to hear the roar of a motorbike and a very crisp electric guitar, and the rest is history.

Ratt has been at the top of many of my lists of things over the years, because up until they decided to put out their most recent album (which they could have not done) all things where fiiiiine, but IT was bad. Not conjuring up much of the shining powerhouse that they once were, all that really remains of the first incarnation is the very definitive vocals of Stephen Pearcy.

So yeah! I could dig into some backwoods swing or gregorian chanting, but I’ll leave you with the three you may actually want to listen to, and may actually end up enjoying.

ALSO THIS NEW BRUNO MARS ALBUM IS FUCKING LIT. GOT ME WHIPPING MY ‘DONK AROUND LIKE IT I NEED ME A MAN.

BUUHHEEEYYYYYYEEEEE.

– Bear.