Sexual Sunday with Varg Vikernes: Dysphagia

vargmain

Hey man

Okay so I’ve been wondering for a while why all women I fuck seem to hate swallowing?

 

Slurpy in San Antonio

 

*****************

Salutations Slurpy,

First allow me to thank you for writing in to my column and here must I commend you for engaging in relationships with the fairer sex who may be of varying swallowing capability.  Dysphagia or difficulty swallowing can be caused by many things – post nasal drip, polyps, throat cancer, or talking too much (like most women are often want to do 😉 ).  I have not ever met a women who did not swallow because she hated it.  Most times the sensation of saliva building in the mouth is enough to induce the automatic swallowing reflex.

Have you tried thickening her fluids for her, as she is a risk for choking?  😉

In all seriousness, the juices of a man’s hot rod taste something similar to burnt rubber, burnt leather and turnip juice.  It’s no one’s idea of a picnic and to women who do imbibe, I salute and thank you good wives for being so willing to accept one of the least appetizing amuse bouches.

Might I suggest for you to,  in the words of late great American comedy man Robin Williams – “aim for the tits, hawk eye”.

 

Best Wishes,

Vance Vikernes

Be sure to E-mail Varg and you may see your questions featured in a future issue of Sexual Sunday.

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