My husband has recently been asking me to fart into an old Jell-O mold of ours, so we can make ‘enhanced’ Jell-O.
I don’t know how to feel about this. We are two gay men and I know things can get wild sometimes, but this seems to be pushing a lot of limits (mine included).
What should I do?
Fartistry in Flint
Thank you good.. man…(?) for writing in to my column. I can see by the sense of urgency present in your note that you feel at a loss of what to do regarding your good husband’s somewhat peculiar fecal request.
I hesitate to encourage this variety of behaviour as I have a particular affinity for Jell-O and hate to see it sullied with fecal remnants. Did you know that farts smell because tiny pieces of feces are expelled with each gassy outpouring? I have heard of the concept of seasoning a cast iron frying pan, so perhaps this is a similar ritual that your good husband would like to partake in.
Might I suggest some icing sugar or cinnamon, or perhaps a trip to the local courthouse for annulment papers?
Varg ‘Very Berry’ Vikernes
Be sure to E-mail Varg with all your sexual health and fart related inquiries and you may see them featured in a future issue of Sexual Sundays.