Treading the Missed Mondays: Been a Deckhead Since ’97

TUBULAR SHRED, FELLOW DUDES!

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Something surely between a reoccurring deathwish and athletic prowess has driven me to force every kind of multi-wheeled form of transportation under my feet at one point or another. The one that sticks out the most is the one I picked up first. Becoming a haven for heavy metal maniacs and hardcore bangers alike, something about the unbridled spin of fresh bearings sitting on 6-ply made skateboarding (for a period of time) the true “King Of The Streets”. It was a “Come one, Come all” society, unless you were trying to get the low down on the darkest and most secretive spots. Fact of the matter was that when people started making music directly about the coolest four-wheeled thing to ever carve concrete, some of the coolest songs of their respective genres were written!

Let’s caveman directly into our first sesh of the day:

Yeah, dude. Absolutely FRAUT with satanic imagery. You can tell by the music alone that this turned hundreds of little bay area thrashers with matching “SUICIDAL”-brimmed hats into velvet robe wearing cultists overnight. Also, I would say it is exclusively the WORST sounding vocal track he ever put out in the entirety of them being a band. What the hell is that footlong Bob Barker-ass looking microphone?

Who just tags the letter “V”?

WHAT WAS YOUR NAME, SON?! BE IT “VINCENT”, OR “VICTOR”?!

Guess we’ll never know.

New trucks always felt soooo good when I was an avid “doing tricks” skater. Shout-out to Krux Trux for making the most bangin’ product out there for sho’. But one thing I never had was “Independents”, a absolutely prolific company to the culture and history of skateboarding. You could not go into a skateshop and ask what the “red iron cross thing” was unless you wanted to get smacked up side the head. So prolific in fact, that a band named Monster Trux wrote a song for it.

I couldn’t get you that song, but they wrote this too, about classic cable horror host “Svengoolie”, get down.

And as always, daddy likes to hit ya thrice, and not everything has to be hilarious when it comes to buying dollarstore candles and greasing down a back-alley curb.

Some aspects of skateboarding are downright savage.

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Some aspect of music are also, savage.

If you knew Ghoul was gonna be the last one I threw on this list, internet high-five to a’you, amigo. Ghoul (as mentioned in previous articles) absolutely throws down when it comes to the grip tape torpedo, and in turn write equal righteous tunes involves said shredding. My favorite example is certainly partially in part of the name being a pun, and just. . .It’s Ghoul, dude. Since fucking everyone in Vektor parted ways it’s like all I’ve got left!

Grab a hood to hide your face,
Tie a shirt around your waist,
Pull a sk8 from off the wall,
It’s time to crash the funeral hall.
The Ghoul Hunter is out tonight,
But we don’t really care,
We’re gonna give this town a fright,
So citizens beware.
We’re homicidal retards,
We’re not afraid of cops,
Our mission: Carve the Graveyard,
We’ll sk8 until we stop!
Waxing curbs and coffins too,
The wax we use we made from you!
If we see a bowl we’ll fuckin shred,
Gonna carve it up like we did your head!
Our decks are made from tombstones.
The trucks are hewn from bone.
Slimeballs are the wheels of choice.
The bearings? Kidney stones.
Cobwebs are our grip tape.
And grip they surely do.
Tonight we’re gonna tear it up,
And then we’ll tear up you!

We’re boneless in the boneyard!

Well we took a swig of some numbskull,
And headed out into the frigid night.
We were cruising the town when we all, heard a sound!
The Ghoul Hunter had us in his sights.
We came at him with our sk8boards,
He got a Pop Shove-It to the lip.
I did a Mctwist and landed on his wrist,
And knocked the rifle right out of his grip.
Cremator did a Blunt Slide off his back,
Switching to a Disaster Grind.
The Ghoul Hunter racked by our Ollie attacks,
Was beginning to lose his mind!
He had one more trick up his sleeve,
A smoke bomb he quickly deployed.
Once again he escaped, but not before getting scraped,
A pastime we’ve come to enjoy!
We sk8ed back to the graveyard in a rush,
Our wheels trailing remnants of Ghoul Hunter mush.
Vengeance he vowed to exact and employ,
We think he might really be getting annoyed!

Stay vertical, bredren!

– Bear

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