Treading the Missed Mondays: BEACHED ASS


Remember the first time you popped in Super Metroid and picked up that controller with it’s off purple buttons? You were met with one of the coolest title themes of all time, and around the same era not many composer’s were actually employed by large gaming companies to create grand scores like Castlevania, Final Fantasy, and alike. Most of the time they would either hire the same guy again and again and main elements of the theme got changed ever so slightly, which is kinda bull. Personally, I’d love to see companies reach out to more bands to do soundtracks, which can go one of two very different directions. You can end up with something which was destined to be awesome from the start; Powerglove doing the Far Cry: Blood Dragon soundtrack, or something horrendous; Megadeth doing the “Never Dead” theme.


Out of some strange nostalgia, a genre somewhat brushed off in the mid-80’s called New Wave bared a cult following. Though the term “New Wave” typically precedes genre names in many types of rock and pop styles, in this case it IS a genre, which even spawned it’s own sub-genre’s like “synthpop” and “hi-NRG”.


Many people loved the sole non-complexity of a 16-bit anthem pumping in the background while they played Double Dragon, and I am no different. Some of those people must somehow love it more than myself however, because that same cult nostalgia lives on through a pretty recently birthed genre which I will simplify to calling “New Retro”. Bands like Trevor Something, and Perturbator have seen huge recognition for being on the dawn of their genre’s creation, hitting a niché between EDM/Dance/House music, and being in a boss fight with SATAN from DOOM. Allow me to grace you with some of the more stand-out tracks I’ve found so far, and let me prefix this as always by saying:

– Music is Subjective.
– Give everything a chance.

My first delve into the whole genre was when I was shown Lazerhawk, which aside from using the standard band naming ideology of “Pick a thing and an animal, that’s our name” actually does manage to have a very well mastered and rounded sound. The best part of this genre being that most of the songs have equally DATED videos, get ready for 75 different movie car chase cuts.

But c’moooon. Try putting this on and not wanting to re-enact the workout montage from Rocky. It’s exact and pointed in what it wants to be musically and I appreciate that.

Track two today is going to be Red Light Syndrome by d.notive, which is pretty much here because it has/reminds me of Escape From L.A. and Kurt Russell is my boy. Admittedly, a much simpler piece, but it builds surprising well over the entirety of the whole 5-minutes.

Why do all these bands make me want to play Perfect Dark, but not with that cheap ass alien gun that could shoot through walls. My brother used to whoop my ass with that thing.

And rounding up the back end is Osaka Sewers by Mega Drive from their album 198XAD.

A very lush, mood-setting song, which is so vibrantly animated by it’s title and instrument choices. Near jazz-like soft keys over a helping of well orchestrated strings is better than most music disappointments we receive nowadays.

So, yeah! If you did like this it’s more than likely because don’t like in the Matrix.



– Bear

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