FROTHY NEW BEERS, NUKEFÜD!
New year, new you, RIGHT?
Come now, friends. Let us not disgrace our sheer monumentous strides in medicine, human rights, cultural understanding, and so forth. Plenty of great things happened last year (even though we lost some Great’s along the way) so I want to take a moment to focus on the things the which remain unchangeable. Signified beautifully sometime in the sixth century, was the idea of seven “core-concepts” which are inherent in all of humanity; I speak of course, of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Pride, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, List, Wrath, and Sloth (my personal favorite).
As she be Monday it is playlist week, I thought I would entrench myself down and make a lil sum’sum based (drunkly) on said sins.
Let’s falcon punch this year in tits.
I. Greed: Toxik – Greed
I unequivocally enjoy albums that tell a story from the moment you see the cover art. Acceptably there is nominal space for a few others to slip through that bracket but this prog-thrash ensemble had something very unique with the style of the album as a whole. Opening each song with rotating TV ad’s from the 80’s (everything from liquor blowout sales to what I’m 98% sure is a Richard Simmons workout video) and flickering TV static, it almost wordlessly creates it’s own narrative, which is pretty cool. Enthralling guitar-work, understandably unlikeable vocal work, but at least they have place and purpose (a lost art).
II. Lust: Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats – I’ll Cut You Down
Continuing the TV channel surf intro theme, the debut album from Uncle Acid brings a ton to the table. Ramped to the max with fuzz pedals and a lead singer reminiscent to the BeeGees (of all things), expect more than just your average stoner groove band. Personally, I think the debut album outshines any offering they have given us since due to the quality, but I’m certainly not complaining.
III. Envy: Lynch Mob – I Want It
As you’ve probably noticed, we’re never getting through a week without me bringing up hair metal somewhere, and this week won’t be any exception. George Lynch was one of those guys girls had cut out of magazines and pasted on their walls, collaged against all the other tightest pants of the time. One of the more particularly easy to see sins is Envy, and it really shows it’s big green face when we can’t have something we want and therein choose to react like little swaddling babies about it. For all the flak many bands catch for being a part of the genre though, Lynch Mob’s more southern take definitely helps it stand out against that wall of leather pants and hairspray.
IV. Gluttony: Bloodbath – Eaten
As if you didn’t know I was gonna pick this song for Gluttony. Bar-none my favorite Bloodbath album, and the only one to feature Peter Tägtgren ruling the microphone in place of Mikael Åkerfeld (Opeth). Through that singular change arose what I would happily call one of the most iconic death metal albums of all time, pretty much every metalhead knows “Eaten”, a horrendous story of a man offering himself as a nice entré to a serial killer, but as he so wisely says “Don’t call me sick, this is what I need. My only purpose here, is for you too feed”.
V. Pride: Bolt Thrower – Pride
It’s Bolt Thrower. They sound like Bolt Thrower.
VI. Wrath: Iron Maiden – Wrathchild
Coming off of dominating 1981 album “Killers” is this beauty. Not much need be said about Maiden, they have been at it for decades now, HOWEVER despite many people hailing this as the “greatest” album they ever made, that’s mostly personal judgement. If we look at Dickinson and the boys through-out the years, production definitely skyrocketed, but quality o songwriting pretty much stayed the same. As far as a “peak”, the ’86 “Somewhere In Time” album has the most clear direction and sound in my opinion.
VII. Sloth: Inferno – The Funeral Of Existence
Of course, pulling up the very rear of this excursion is Sloth. Definitely the hardest to define as a sin, because it covers everything from physical laziness to a more spiritual avenue; the lethargic refusal to follow God’s commands. When I think of Sloth anthropromorphized, I kind of imagine a withered husk, more so than an obese monstrosity. The lack of personal drive to even get up to eat, for example. Inferno is a band that makes exceptional volumes of variety within such long songs, and “Omniabsence Filled By His Greatness” is chock-full of dissonant speed.
Anydoodle, do you best to not exemplify any of these over the next 353 days, eh?
G’s up, Hoe’s down, and I’m out.