APPY MOANDAY, DITCHES!
Let’s get it outta the way quickly, if you’re one of those clowns that doesn’t classify Hip Hop as music, that’s cool. You’re more than welcome to go sit on your prejudice-packed ass full of pre-conceived shit and the rest of us will continue to taste the sweet bounce that Ja Rule has given us to bounce too.
Givens:
– Yes, usually it’s profane lyrically.
– Yeah, it can be about gangster lifestyle.
– Especially some very early artists didn’t give a single damn about bragging about things like rape, murder, general criminal goings-on.
Moving past all of that, let’s note some facts. Plenty of said content is from REAL WORLD EXPERIENCE. Some of these boys would make an album, go to jail, get out and almost immediately make another album flossing about BEING OUT OF JAIL AGAIN.
Fresh outta Jail 2.
2!
THAT IS GANGSTER!
Let’s throw one in the chamber for ya to enjoy while we go through some history, this here is Lil 1/2 Dead.
The year is 1993. Rockin’ a cherry ’64 from town to town was none other than Dr.Dre and Snoop Dogg living the high life on the immensely crazy “Da Chronic” album tour. Driven by cacophonous synth sounds, and several hundred spellings of the word “dog”, it was tiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, bruh. Impossible to take away from such crazy production and the talent of both young artists (and all the others to appear on that album), but also on said tour was Lil 1/2 Dead. Just prior to releasing his first album “The Dead Has Arisen”, he shared to stage along side Dre and Snoop with a distinctively similar g-funk sound. Aside from the very obvious changes to lyrical content from then to now, the “soul” of production has fallen away to absolutely rhythmless fuckboys in their bedrooms who spent $300 to buy Trackgod.
“It’s just one knob!”
There was even an era in the early-mid 2000’s where rap was having a solid mainstream dominance, while people like Eminem and Kid Rock made it feel more accessible for many Caucasian people (which is immensely stupid and I bet Mr. Mathers hates to conceded that point), and a lot of the material to come out at that time still had serious substance. Nearly poetic as it tried to cover more of the “living the high life” side of their careers as opposed to early works which focused on “comin’ up”. Exemplified in someone who kinda turned into a ween, T.I. who dropped “Trap Muzik” in ’03, and you pretty much couldn’t go into a club without hearing this banger:
The problem with music being the “O-” of the Fine Arts blood spectrum, is that it can be mechanized to the point where anyone can do it. The first real wave of it came with early Apple computers and the dumbly-capable program Garageband. As an 8th grade student, my entire Apple-illiterate class used our brand new bubble butt Mac to create and record an entire album. We were children. This has lead to the snowballing effect of absolutely talentless, rhythm and rhymeless wack-ass busters producing such atrocities as fucking KOOLWHIP over here,
Right? RIGHT? Don’t you wish he would just get really obsessed with the idea that air is poison and water is pure and just attempt to breath that in for awhile? Also a perfect example of the dress-up box of horsedick that the industry is today, that is a prison cowboy in a lowrider, trappin’, with face tattoo’s, $500 sunglasses, and (from this video I have decided) one friend.
And through the jumbling mass out fall scabs like Lil Uzi Vert, Lil Yachty, Indian Blue, Tyga, and on and on. Allow me to quote that T.I. song actually, because it so perfectly check 2016’s qaulity in almost every box.
“Half these rapper don’t know what sacrifice feel like,
Man, these nigga’s is all hype,
Not even rappin’ on real Mic’s,
They just get high, say whatever the fuck they feel like”.
Shout-out to Ashlee Simpson and that SNL lip-sync, because I bet she thinks we forgot.
Anypoolnoodle, it’s be pleasant talking to you pieholes. Try and MAKE more Christmas gifts this year.
– BEAR.