Treading the Missed: Songs For The Edge

SALUTATIONS, SCRAPPED-TOGETHER ATTEMPTS!

Do you know a guy who wears white Oakley sunglasses and refers to his girlfriend as “baby”? Does that same dude wear clothing with rhinestones, calligraphic fonts, and wispy smoke skulls on it? He rocking a man purse? Okay, well that’s a drug dealer, fyi. Easily confused with my topic of the day:

EDGE LORDS.

Now class, an “Edge Lord” is an individual who thinks that being nihilistic (and in many instances barbaric) elevates them to a higher sub-class of society, which is entirely untrue. Most of these quivering cunts are the people who buy replica video game swords (which is kind of cool, I’ll give you that), and then put on a god damn trenchcoat, a trilby, AND FUCKING POSE WITH THE THING.

First off, pleeease, PLEEEAAASSSEEE, just get on Tinder or what have you, talk to a real human being, feel the first warmth of a woman’s touch since your birth and realise that the sun is coming up with or without you. There is a place in the world for nihilism, and that place is through the creative process.

Take Van Gogh cutting off his ear to give as a gift, just a total “Fuck you” to flowers, plus, “fuck your ex’s, girl. They ain’t never got you no EAR!”

Music is beautiful place for said nihilism to be released, but even the purity of sweet tunes can be corrupted by the Edge Lord’s plague-touch. With a huge loom of their musical focus being somewhere along the lines that kind of “Neo from the Matrix in a fight scene” meets “Not recently swept German gay bar” shindig. Needless to say, unless Vader releases a dub-step album, I will never talk about that kind of drivel here. So instead I give you,

“Songs 4 The Edge”