So.  Have you ever had those moments where you realize a friend of yours is spiralling into the depths of despair?  Maybe they’re writing bad goth poetry, maybe they’re drinking themself to death, maybe they smoke tuna fish can sized bowls of weed everyday..  maybe they like being fucked in the ass by a game warden..  I’m not here to judge.

Sometimes though, you find out someone you love is listening to substandard music.

This is one of those cases.

I will not reveal names in order to protect the mentally impaired, but consider this an intervention.

K, so.  I didn’t know Mushroomhead was still a thing, I also didn’t know that people still listen to them and that some of those people are good friends of mine.

 

Seriously though, what the fuck. Mushroomhead sucks so much ass and this song gave me penile and ass cancer combined.
Who listens to this shit?
It sounds like if Nickelback/Creed put on masks and went YEEEEAAAAH and framed it for 12 year old edge lords of the edge.

Judge me for what I am
The passage of death
You don’t play, you don’t win
You change nothing
You gain nothing
Everybody’s out from here on in

Heed my words hear me calling
Citizens watch
They’re stealing our freedom
Promises left to die
And long forgotten
The government’s lost
Tantamount to treason
Tedious the way we fall in
Avenging the cause
A rebel with reason
Fallen lines
Yet war keeps calling more home
I’ve been forsaken
For I am a patriot

Judge me for what I am
The passage of death
You don’t play, you don’t win
You change nothing
You gain nothing
Everybody’s out from here on in

Need my trust
To tie the blindfold
Bled for my nation saluted the flag
Seeds of hate
Beneath numbered tombstones
Crowding more
Pledge my allegiance in ruins and rags

Heed my words hear me calling
Bled for my nation saluted the flag
Promises left to die
And long forgotten
Pledge my allegiance in ruins and rags

Out of my mind so easily
I’ve left behind so many dreams

Judge me for what I am
The passage of death
You don’t play, you don’t win
You change nothing
You gain nothing
Everybody’s out from here on in

Heed my words hear me calling
Citizens watch
They’re stealing our freedom
Promises left to die
And long forgotten
The government’s lost
Tantamount to treason
Tedious the way we fall in
Avenging the cause
A rebel with reason
Fallen lines
As war keeps calling more home
I’ve been forsaken
For I am a patriot

Out of my mind so easily
I’ve left behind so many dreams
Spiritual blindness poisons me
Not living on living on my knees

Out of my mind so easily
I’ve left behind so many dreams
Spiritual blindness poisons me
Not living on or dying on my knees

What the fuck does that EVEN MEAN. So these guys are body mod nazis?
Like. Who. Who sat down and was like YES, this is what we are selling for some reason?
This shit is amateur hour and I refuse to be pandered to.

If you listen to this shit you need to drop everything and drive to your nearest mental outreach centre. The government recently changed their admission requirements and “I listen to Mushroomhead” is now a top priority. They take you in and dry you off, beat the fail out of you.
You’ll thank me later.