Sexual Sunday with Varg Vikernes: Stealing TVs and Hearts


Dear Varg,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend.  I did what you said and “ditched the zero and got with a hero” and my new man is great.  He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.  He doesn’t have a job so we can stay at home and have a lot of sex which is great because I like how good at he is.  He also slaps my ass and tells me to get him beer which is really cute I think.  My ex boyfriend was always asking to “make love” and talking about his feelings, which is pussy shit.  I have a pussy and I think it’s pussy shit.  The problem is, is that I recently found out my new boyfriend has a rather sordid criminal past.  He’s been arrested for stealing, and not like stealing chocolate bars and makeup..  but like..  you know..  breaking and entering and stealing TVs, dirtbikes, laptops..  I found out accidentally, and now all my friends and family are “worried” because they don’t like that I’ve taken up with this guy.  It’s none of their fucking business, but I don’t know what to say.


In Love and Larceny in Langley


Dear In Love and Larceny,

Since you already seem to be living in a trailer park, you should not mind so much having extra television screens around so you can watch ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’.

Best of luck,

Varg Vikernes


Be sure to E-mail Varg and you may see your questions answered in a future issue of Sexual Sundays.


Jimmies rustled? Wanna fight about it? Let us know why below!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.