K so.. You ever have those times where you have to stay home from work because you have really ridiculous diarrhea and you call in sick and you can’t really say that.. like, you can’t be like.. oh shit waddup, I’m on the toilet right now.
K so. Sometimes those days coincide with a cleaning out of not just your colon but also your inbox and you find some really lulzy shit. So. This happened today.. The shitting and also the inbox cleaning and I came across this promo I had saved for future fap/lulz, and I’m here to bequeath said lulz unto you my dear readers.
So consider this be a special TRASH edition of Trash/Thrash Tuesday because this stuff definitely belongs inside a garbage can percolating with all the rest of the unmentionable garbage juice.
This is how the promo opens:
“Before there was Rage Against The Machine and Limp Bizkit, there was the four horseman of the Atlanta music scene, Stuck Mojo.”
I’ve never heard a promo start this way before so of course this is gonna be awesome, right?
If you’re comparing yourself to Limp Bizkit in 2016 as a good thing, holy shit.
Anywho, it gets better.
“Here Come The Infidels is an album for this moment in history as it escalates Stuck Mojo’s rich history of pioneering new sonic territory while lyrically pummeling your Prius until it emits plumes of black smoke.”
WUT. Prius. What the fuck is wrong with driving a Prius? Look. Not all of us can ride a jacked up truck with longhorn steer horns bolted to the front bumper, okay?
All I can think of here is that Bill Burr bit about him owning a Prius and his friends calling him a fag for it. Maybe his friends are Stuck Mojo, who knows.
Actually you know what, I wanna apologize to Bill Burr. He’s a better dude than that.
“Its overwhelming lyrical rebuke against leftist, authoritarian, fascist dogma makes Here Come The Infidels a 41 minute and 18 second push back against the Social Justice movement.”
K so. Yeah. We all know that the ridiculous fuck wankers on tumblr who believe that eating tacos is racist cultural appropriation aren’t real people. They don’t exist in the real world because they’re ridiculous chumps. However.. can someone explain to me whats wrong with social justice without all the craziness? Like.. I know for a fact Canada needs to step up its reconciliation with its Indigenous population and America sure as shit needs to stop killing black people for fun.
And like.. wut. WUT. So, this album is just you getting mad about how you can’t be a racist piece of trash? Wow. How hard for you. Tell me more about how life is difficult for you, oh white male.
In July of 2016, Stuck Mojo will return to the road guaranteeing more structural damage to music venues than floods, tornadoes and earthquakes combined.
No one is coming to your show. Stop it.
This video is seriously so fucking lulzy.
It essentially boils down to this guy being angry he can’t be racist and is being called a bigot for his views.
The classic case of dishing it out but not being able to take it. Real macho.
Look. I’m gonna drop some science on you kids. Free speech means free speech for everyone. You have a right to say whatever ridiculous shit you’d like.. that includes hate speech, racist shit, whatever the fuck you want. Say whatever you like. But the thing is, that means that I can tell you you’re a piece of shit for saying what you said. Free speech means free speech for everyone not just you to say whatever you think is fine and acceptable.
I don’t believe in safe spaces and don’t believe in censorship. Being pissed off that a movement exists that is giving some fundamental rights to formerly oppressed populations, rights that you have enjoyed for years, is pretty fucked.
Further to this, this music is awful. It sounds like Linkin Park had a baby with Kid Rock and poured some plstic squeeze bottle vodka on it and went “DONE”.
I honestly can’t get over how shitty this is and how it sells itself to sad dudes drinking Mountain Dew that believe in men’s rights activism.
Seriously, this band fucking sucks.
Also, there’s a part in here that talks about chemtrails? Like. Jesus Christ, can you tell us more about how you completed no part of any primary school education.