Sexual Sunday with Varg Vikernes: That Summer

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Hello Mr Vikernes,

I figured I would right and ask a question.
I am a European blooded woman living in Canada, working towards off grid living.
I find it somewhat difficult to find a good traditional man, since the majority of them are more into modern pursuits. And it could be that they find me odd, being that I ride into my town center on horseback, rather than use my truck all the time.
I have been in the company of a male friend who I believe may be interested in me.
He has no experience with a woman, and I have very little with a man. So I am unsure how to approach him on the matter. We enjoy walks and cups of tea, but in the subject of a relationship and eventual marriage, I am unsure how to ask. or even what to ask. Right now it is smiles exchanged and bashful laughter. He seems to want to see me, and I do want to see him. His parents keep him pretty sheltered, whereas I am living alone, aside from the animals on my farm. I have thought of asking him if he has thought of living with me but I am really stumped on it and I am a few years older than he. What should I do or say?
~ Shy to extremes in the Okanagan of Canada

 

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Dear Shy To Extremes,

Good woman, I thank you most sincerely for writing in to seek advice on your issue.  I must commend you for your quest to live off the grid in a sustainable manner and though I will admit that it may seem odd to some for a fine piece of Aryan tail such as yourself to come riding into town on horseback rather than use some type of all terrain vehicle, I do feel that your intentions are good.

When the Judeo-Christian war machine rises, you and I shall be safely protected and able to live quite comfortably, while the MTV generation will be lined up outside of a MacDonalds looking for a hamburger to suckle on.

As for your much younger love interest, I wish to inquire as to if you are familiar with Catherine the Great.  She was a great Russian ruler who enjoyed riding around on horseback in the nude and engaging in sexual activity with younger men, much like yourself.  Additionally, it was highly speculated that this great female ruler who bore a tremendous sexual appetite, died after engaging in sexual activity with her prized Arabian stallion.  I do not condone bestiality for the most part and shall speculate no further upon your particular proclivities.

As for advice, I am curious if you are familiar with a great American entertainer known as Garth Brooks?  Many might assume that I listen only to metal music of the grim variety but this assumption cannot be further from the truth.  In my advancing age, I have grown a fondness for a variety of music and this particular artist wrote a song that is quite fitting to your situation.  The song title is, “That Summer” and it tells the tale of a younger man who goes to work for an older woman on her farm, and she is hellbent on making it on her own.  The woman eventually ends up seducing the young man by putting on a nice dress.

Do you have any garments that may be similar?  Perhaps something to show off the goods and “stirrup”some trouble, if you know what I mean?  Something to get your wild stallion ready for a roll in the hay?  You speak of marriage and here I caution – allow this to move at the pace that it must, coming on too strong is unattractive and your good man should be allowed to fall into his role as your consort naturally.

Is it harvest time in Canada?  If not, my advice here is that you two get to plowing.

Love,

Varg Vikernes

 

 

 

Be sure to E-mail Varg with all your love advice queries and you may see them featured in a future issue of Sexual Sundays.

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