Hey tiny friends. How’s it going this week? How’s your week been going so far? Did you spend last night burying several hundred litres of absolutely foul rotten fetid maceration water? You living that taxidermy life with me bruh?
With my right hand man we managed to really stink up the little corner of the neighborhood we live on and we made a real shit mess.
Speaking of stinking up the place, let’s get into this week’s Trash/Thrash Tuesday column. This week we are going to swan dive into nu metal and take on Slipknot’s “Wait and Bleed”, their magnum opus of angry fast nu metal songs that gave a soundtrack of angst to a generation of sad spoopy goth kids who were mad at their parents for not buying them JNCO jeans and wallet chains at Christmas.
K, straight up, this might have everyone gang up and take away my spoopy goth card, but I never really listened to Slipknot. My leather clad kindred and brethern in high school of course obviously listened to them, so of course I was AWARE of Slipknot, but I didn’t listen to them personally. I was way way way too much into listening to old Joy Division, reading Sylvia Plath by candle light and planning my own suicide. Ah, the teenage years.
When I was about 16 I did see Slipknot in concert, and I remember it being a really violent and borderline fucking weird show. I was there to see KiTTie, because ~*~*~*~*~girls in metal*~*~*~*~ and what not. More on this later.
Anyways, Slipknot recently came up on my radar again.. or more specifically I should say Corey Taylor, and I had to text Rigby about it, because holy shit – when did Corey Taylor get hot as fuck?
trying to put his finger on when he became hot
DAMN, GORL. Jesus.
We would all slam the shit out of Corey Taylor, amirite? Like… come over and bring the mask, and all those AWESOME nu metal cds.. Let’s get weird.
For real though, Slipknot has like 11 members.. if they added like two more people they could be an orchestra. Now that would really be something wouldn’t it. Like imagine if they played classical music and shit and showed up wearing the masks and their get up and generally doing whatever it is that Slipknot does.. I could only imagine a fat rich white Donald Trump type would crush his monocle in surprise and horror.
did someone order the london philharmonic orchestra? possibly while high?
Anyways, I can’t really TRASH Slipknot, I mean, Corey Taylor is actually pretty foxy and I mean somehow he’s still rocking around in the media somehow.. I can’t fucking doubt that dude’s pimp game, so props to him for doing whatever he’s gotta do to make a buck I suppose.
K also, do you guys remember when Hanson covered Wait and Bleed?
You know, like the family of weird mormons who sang that MMMBop song? They definitely did.
I’ve felt the hate rise up in me…
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves…
I wander out where you can’t see…
Inside my shell I wait and bleed…
Goodbye!
I wipe it off on tile, the light is brighter this time
Everything is 3D blasphemy
My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up
This is not the way I pictured me
I can’t control my shakes
How the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong…
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn’t like this
Is it a dream or a memory?
I’ve felt the hate rise up in me…
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves…
I wander out where you can’t see…
Inside my shell I wait and bleed…
Get outta my head ’cause I don’t need this
Why I didn’t I see this?
Well I’m a victim – Manchurian candidate
I have sinned by just
Makin’ my mind up and takin’ your breath away
I’ve felt the hate rise up in me…
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves…
I wander out where you can’t see…
Inside my shell I wait and bleed…
Goodbye!
You haven’t learned a thing
I haven’t changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain was always free
I’ve felt the hate rise up in me…
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves…
I wander out where you can’t see…
Inside my shell I wait and bleed…
And it waits for you!
Until next week, stay spoopy.