Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Five Finger Death Punch – “Wash It All Away”

Hey there tiny angelmouses..  yeah.  That’s right. I called you weird bastards little angelmouses.  Come at me.  Anywho, I’m feeling especially feisty this week, mostly due to spending a weekend mired in the piles of homework, contemplating if I even want to be alive anymore, and then getting scrappy when some local rednecks were harshing on my VVitch vibe at the local film festival.

OH I love rednecks.  Please tell me more about how you didn’t “get” the Witch and how you were so “disappointed” by it.  Please.  Go on.  Enlighten me.

Anywho, the one douche canoe I ended up hearing complaining the most loudly (?) about his dislike of the VVitch was carrying a Monster energy drink which apparently did fuck all because he fell asleep during the movie and proceeded to rip ass so often and loudly that everyone within a few foot radius was dying from the gas fumes emited from his swamp ass due to high amounts of tuna, creatine and horse testosterone consumption..

As said douche canoe was exiting the theatre he took the opportunity to remind me that I am in fact a freaky deaky person by asking me if I was waiting to get the VVitch poster (which I was) and very clearly the manager was pulling it out of the marquee for me, so..  As I responded, “fuck yeah”, his shitty reply was “of course you are”.

deathpunch.jpeg

look at this fucking love connection

At this moment, I noticed he was wearing a Five Finger Death Punch shirt, and while I could have conjured (see what I did there) many a shitty joke to throw back at this unfortunate image of masculinity, the joke was already on him, what with the FFDP shirt, can of shitty energy drink, crotch whisker bejewelled jeans, and nary a woman in sight.

This interaction led me to thinking, and I thought about how crappy people have the crappiest taste in music.  Truthfully, I’d only heard maybe one or two FFDP songs, and since I’m not 12 and don’t cut myself and I do not live with my parents, the appeal of this music is entirely lost on me.  When I endeavoured to write this piece, I got super high and did some youtubeing of their videos and holy jumping fucking shit balls..  people actually listen to this shit?  Seriously?

It sounds like nu-metal met dubstep met Nickelback and whoever or whatever committee approved this shit pile was like, yep, slap some Monster energy on it and sell it.  Done.  Good enough.  Sweet.

Holy shit.  I also found out these guys support Trump?  Oh man.  ZOLTAN BATHORY the guitarist wrote some truly golden tweets about how Trump is a straight shooter.  Good to know in case you needed any other reason to have to mentally scrub your brain after listening to any of the “metal” this band produces.  My cat has taken more heavy metal dumps.

I’ve given up
On society  (but selling out to energy drink companies is fine..)
Up on my family
Up on your social disease

I’ve given up
On the industry
Up on democracy  (really..  but you want people to vote Trump?)
Done with all your hypocrisy

All of the chaos
And all of the lies
I hate it

I’m wasting here
Can anyone wash it all away  (well if you gave up on everything, you wouldn’t give a shit)
I’m waiting here
For anyone to wash it all away
Wash it all away

I’ve given up
On the media  (no you haven’t..  you have twitter.)
Feeds my hysteria
Sick of living down on my knees
I’ve given up
On morality
Feeds my brutality  (tell me more about how brutal you are with that fucking fedora of yours)
Fuck what you think about me

All of the chaos
And all of the lies
I hate it

I’m wasting here
Can anyone wash it all away
I’m waiting here
For anyone to wash it all away
Wash it all away

I won’t change for you
And I can’t take the pain  (so you’re a pussy ass bitch, is that right?)
There’s nothing you can do
And there’s nothing you can say

I’ve given up
On everything
Up on everything
Up on everything

I’m wasting here
Can anyone wash it all away
I’m waiting here
For anyone to wash it all away
Wash it all away

I’m wasting here
With everyone just wash it all away
I’m waiting here
For anyone to wash it all away
Wash it all away
Wash it all away

 

Well, I think that’s the first time I’ve actually TRASHED some lyrics by section, but hey first time for everything, right?

Since I’m still in a fighty mood, I will leave you all with this:

Five-Finger-Death-Punch.jpg

M’metal M’lady

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