Trash/Thrash Tuesday – Conan – “Wrath Gauntlet”

The time is finally upon us; an new Conan album has been released and damn is it good. Conan seem to have really perfected their formula on Revengence, conjuring images of massive fantastical battles involving all sorts of wizards,barbarian hordes (duh) giants, and orcs while pinning you down with what is probably one of the thickest guitar tones I’ve ever heard.If the mountains moved, this is what they would sound like.

Wrath Gauntlet is a perfect example, lurching and lumbering its way along, not needing to hurry, knowing nothing can stand in the way of such a massive being and keep it from reaching it’s destination. The song progresses so slowly at points you’ll wonder if a) they just hit the note and walked away to take another monster bong hit or b) you aren’t in phase with this reality and that’s why it sounds the way it does. Alright, so they probably didn’t take their guitars off to take another hit. I lied; They are professionals after all. Also, you should go get that out of phase with reality thing checked out. Shit looks serious. You don’t want to end up all skinless and half-transcendent looking like some cut-rate Alex Gray art do you? People will start calling you “Lateralus” and talking about how Maynard is the smartest human being to walk the earth when all you want to do is get a cup of coffee and get out of there so you can get to work on time for once this week. Anyways, I kinda got lost there for a second; Moving on.

This song and certainly the entire album are a must listen for fans of doom, barbarian hordes, dudes in hoodies with guitars or just heavy shit in general.

-Scotty Floronic