Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Dashboard Confessional – “Screaming Infidelities”

Do you love shitty acoustic guitar?  Do you love it when four chord wonders are butchered by people so drunk they can barely stand?  Do you often consider how much you love peanut butter and jam sammiches and how you are really really sad your girlfriend left you?

I’m taking some inspiration this week from Varg’s new Sexual Sunday about how this dude’s girlfriend took off because he smokes too much weed (THERE’S NEVER TOO MUCH).  Like.  Man.  That fucking sucks dude.  It sucks even more you made fun of our site, but I mean that’s okay too.  Maybe the dude who wrote in was Jason Lei Howden?  Oh god I hope so.  Anyways, do you guys remember in the early aughts when emo was a thing and tattooed sadfuckboys grabbed acoustic guitars, tuned them to drop D, and then sang about how sad they were and every female with an angled hair cut and old man thrift store collectively pissed in their pantiess and emo became the incarnation of post pop punk that really went for a shit?

Emo

Do you remember when Dashboard Confessional provided soundtrack music for the Spiderman movies?  Boy was that ever the swan song.  Who remembers Bright Eyes?  The dude would get so trashed before his shows he would literally cry and fall over on stage?  Super metal, right?  I really wish someone would come up with the type of music that when your significant other dumps you for being a pile of garbage, you can go get super wasted, make an asshole of yourself and eat nachos all night and wake up in the morning feeling pretty pleased with yourself.

Actually I think, they already did, and it’s Andrew WK…  Why can’t everyone just put on “We Want Fun” and just take it from there.  It’s so much less weird.  This piece is definitely a TRASH piece because that’s where early aughts shitty acoustic emo belongs..  in a garbage can.  That said though, an At The Drive In reunion recently made news and everyone is super fucking psyched, so what do I know.

I’m missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we’d have to speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me homeI’m cuddling close to blankets and sheets
But you’re not alone, and you’re not discreet
Make sure I know who’s taking you home.I’m reading your note over again,
There’s not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
“I will love you always and forever.”

As for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you’re making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone
Making out.

I’m missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you’re as happy as you’re pretending.

I’m cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home

I’m missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we’d have speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Well, as for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you’re making out.
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone
Making out.

[X4]
Your hair, it’s everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.

Alright.  Ladies.  LADIES.  If a man writes creepy vaguely stalkerish songs about how he’s CUDDLING CLOSE TO BLANKETS AND SHEETS, then yeah, please don’t date him.  Just do us all a favour please.

Jimmies rustled? Wanna fight about it? Let us know why below!

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