Deathgasm Director = Biggest Baby Ever?

Hey there tiny angel friends! The oldblackgoat here. Me and Scotty had a real time last night because we watched Deathgasm, the much praised, much touted, much anticipated horror comedy heavy metal gore fest, and I’m here to tell you gentle cats: That. Movie. Fucking. Sucked.

Now. I’m in school. When I can escape the drudges of doing homework, reading textbooks, and contemplating killing my classmates, I enjoy popping in a flick, getting high AF and letting the old mind wander.

I had heard quite a bit about Deathgasm, from its debut at SXSW, and there was much twittering around this film produced by the same dick who produced ABCs of Death and Housebound, promised to be a heavy metal homage to hilarity. I paid $20 for the Blu-Ray of this film and was pretty psyched to watch it. I will be up front with you cool customers here and admit, I didn’t even bother finishing it, I had to turn it off close to the end, as truthfully, being pandered to isn’t something I find entertaining and with better things to do like rub liniment oil on my muscles and floss my teeth, I gave up.

Allow it to be said, the only film I have ever walked out of or turned off due to it being terrible was Transformers 2. So. Deathgasm is roughly on part with CGI robots talking in ebonics. So allow that comment to sink in for a while.

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One of the first thing I noticed about Deathgasm was a lot of reliance on dick and fart jokes (pay attention here because this is important for later).  The animated opening sequence has a dude jamming on a dick guitar, and there was heavy phallic imagery, cum and blood and the whole charade, but I figured since this film has 15 year old protagonists, it was par for the course.

The film follows a hesher metalhead loser who finds some music to summon demons and with his bands engages in a Todd and the Book of Pure Evil round of slapstick fuck wankery as Deadites (er..  wrong film) rise up and begin mildly annoying the neighborhood and are somehow beaten senseless with dildos which is about where my interest began waning, and about fifteen minutes later, I checked out entirely.

While there was some laughs to be had in the film, namely in the shooting of the band’s music video (pretty hilarious), and I also enjoyed the first time the little preppy girl hears her first metal song and becomes instantaneously surrounded by big titted bimbos.  Though these aspects were chuckle worthy, a film that is based solely on how I chuckled twenty minutes previous is just weak.  The characters were sloppy and the film was filled myriad missed oppurtunities to riff on metal and it’s figureheads and rather opted for ridiculous slapstick and the ever present penis humor.

Don’t get me wrong kids..  I’ve got no issue with dick and fart jokes.  I am a fan of Kevin Smith, and here’s where some problems occur.  Kevin Smith takes his kicks like a man, he knows his own failings and owns them.  This is where the review portion of this film ends.  I turned the film off.  I’d rather go to bed at 9:30pm than finish it.

I did however, have the intention of rewatching the film with a group of friends after a few drinks to see if I had missed something along the way though.  Until all this went to shit.

Where the real hilarity starts though with this piece is that Scott (who runs the @DrunkGraveyard twitter account) and myself posted some seemingly harmless jests about the overreliance on phallic humor in the film.  Within a few moments both the producer and the director were very much up in arms about receiving criticism that differed from the general praises.  Though the producer relented and was not ever rude about our commentary, the director Jason Lei Howden got his jimmies rustled and went off on a tear so ridiculous that I am including screenshots of the whole exchange, because it really must be seen to be believed.  This tear includes blocking and unblocking both the @oldblackgoat and @DrunkGraveyard twitter accounts to keep hurling insults because he was unable to wrap his mind around the fact that two individuals didn’t like his film.

With this in mind, please consider that though I have trashed both Eli Roth and Ti West, both of these directors have shared my reviews, engaged in playful banter with me, and generally accepted that not everyone and their dog is going to suck the dick of their films.  And this is generally what artists do – accept criticism, move on, and keep creating.  What artists don’t generally do is cry like a little baby, attempt to force someone into enjoying their work, and then freak the fuck out online for the world to see and when all was said and done..  I still don’t like the film.

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What this little exchange did accomplish was cement with me that I don’t ever want to watch a film by this tiny baby, and that he’s a borderline lunatic.  Attempting to silence dissenting opinions with an online shitfit is bad publicity, but then again.. with a poorly put together ‘kutte’ like this, he’s doing it all to himself.  You sir, are a false, and I reject your fuckery.

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The reason I post this is as follows – my opinions and the opinions of my staff are not opinions that are for sale.  If I like something, I like it, and if I don’t, then I don’t.  I am entitled to speak my opinions – that is what the age of the internet has given each person with an internet connection – a voice, and in the words Holden from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back “The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.”

Trying to bully me out of my opinion is not acceptable.  Take your licks and kicks like a man and move the fuck along.  Not everyone in this wild frontier of the internet is gonna like what you do and if they don’t like it..  well then it wasn’t made for them and they don’t have to like it.

My staff and I have never, and will never pull any punches about what we think is good and what we think is garbage so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

 

 

 

10 responses to “Deathgasm Director = Biggest Baby Ever?

    • It’s a real shame he went with as many dick jokes as he did. Metalocalypse showed us years ago what can be done with metal and comedy so he really has no excuse for not trying a little harder to make wittier jokes instead of sticking to “safe” slapstick schtick. Also he comes off as an asshat with an anger problem so that really doesn’t help his situation.

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  2. That movie blows, spews, and sucks on all levels. Hated it more than going to church. I am a rabid Metal lovin’ lunatic and I worship Horror movies. Maybe that is why I hated it. It was like going to a record store, seeing they have a Metal LP section and it’s full of Stryper vinyl. I wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face just so I wouldn’t watch that piece of shit movie.

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  5. I lost my shit at “dick jokes have been the foundation of comedy since herpaderpaderpadoopydoo.” Like, I don’t even know where to start with that. Maybe dick jokes are empowering to him because, like a limp dick blowing in the wind, his ego is small and fragile and a little embarrassing to be shown in public.

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  7. Yeah this is old news but if these screenshots are the entire scope then it looks like the people at drunk in a graveyard are drama queens. This article alone says far worse, and more personal things about the director guy than anything in those screenshots.
    As for calling him a baby (among many other things) I find it funny how the director is informed how he should take criticism, or take your licks and move on to create something else…while the guy writing this article is hypocritically guilty of doing the very same thing. And still writes stories about it years later with hyperbole and it looks like an extremely thin skin. It also is strange when using phrases like 74 “hours of targeted harassment” and talks about the directors mental state.
    Then once I saw the screenshots I was wondering where is the lunacy and mania which is strewn throughout the article because none of those screenshots even come anywhere near the hyperbole which they were described as.
    But the targeted harassment for several days of the author and his staff by the director is what caught my attention as I find that unacceptable and was disgusted with the director that he would do something which is being described as something heinous, awful and possibly criminal.
    Then again, I saw the screenshots and after trying to figure out why nothing the author said turned out to be true it dawned on me that his own behavior is much more in line with the things he is saying about the director…right down to the mania needed to continue articles of, well…targeted harassment after 3 years. As well as a refusal to see his own blatant hypocrisy or manufacturing drama which he then blew far out of proportion and used as license to attack a guy for a period of several years because he didn’t like someone pointing out the flaws in the initial review…and the initial review was certainly flawed. Mainly in how staunch he defends his right to having an opinion yet after he gives it, he never explains why this opinion is a negative for the movie. The very job of a review. The only reasons why he gives for not liking the film is, as he said, there were missed jokes about metal or things he felt that the film could have done.
    In essence he isn’t bashing the film because it was bad but because it isn’t what he thought it should be which, quite frankly, is both ignorant and lazy. A combination which leads to a crappy review.
    When questioned by the director, rather than introspection he starts with the hypocrisy as his all important opinion is being attacked. And he stands in self righteous denial forming the argument that nobody can take away my right to have an opinion!
    Yet nobody is trying to. That doesn’t mean that nobody is allowed to show that his opinion is wrong which is where the author is ( purposely I believe ) muddying the lines between the two. And it certainly doesn’t mean that those who are affected by the opinion can’t ask for the original opinion to be defended, or even criticized.
    And the author has the responsibility to provide an answer because he has chosen to put his opinion of the work done by others in a public forum.
    That didn’t happen here.
    The author never explained his opinion, only his right to have one.
    Again, the fault of both of these points as well are solely the author. Then both got a little childish, exponentially trading jabs and the author is expecting the director to take his criticism and gets offended when his opinion is questioned. Apparently, everyone has to take his criticism in a certain manner while anyone who questions this process is a baby.
    At some point things get nasty … but while the author promised with much grandiosity the dastardly and condemning screenshots showing the director to be all of these awful things which he continues to say he is over several years it never was close to happening that way.
    And we’re left looking at years worth of personal and targeted attacks which could affect someone’s livelihood. But the author seems to be fine with even personal nastiness as long as he is the one doing the attacking.
    Yeah, the authors behavior is what is wrong. What makes it manic is the length, the manufactured drama but mostly the refusal to see how ridiculous he’s being and the refusal to question his own part as he turns a blind eye to his own hypocrisy while remaining comfortable in blaming others

    • Thanks for feeling strongly about Jason Lei Howden and writing us this short story/essay response about it.

      So – let’s clear some things up here.
      I’m a female. You refer to me as man, multiple times, and I am not.

      Now onto the rest of your disjointed letter –
      while I would agree with you that there are portions of this article I regret (the title, the presentation), the overall message of it, I do not.
      Whether you like it, or not, this director name searched himself, found an opinion of his film that he didn’t like and went on the attack. That is not behaviour that’s common to film directors.
      So even if we were slinging some massive shit at his film in the beginning (which we were not), to turn around and begin calling us names and harassing us is not acceptable behaviour.

      Further, you say this article isn’t a review of Deathgasm, well, you’re right there. It really isn’t. The movie was terrible, and the director’s poor behaviour soured me on bothering with it.
      Hwoever, I did, in all fairness watch Howden’s second feature film “Guns Akimbo” and this is a review:
      https://drunkinagraveyard.com/2020/02/29/guns-akimbo-2019/

      You likely won’t be a fan, since you seem quite enamored with Howden, but I did in fairness and objectivity try to watch and review his work. And guess what – it still stank out loud.

      Further still – you make vague claims about how we are damaging Howden’s apparently illustrious career – again, the answer is no. He does that himself as is evident from the article you clearly didn’t bother to read where he harassed two Black LGBTQ film critics this year using his own and the Guns Akimbo twitter.

      https://www.vulture.com/2020/02/guns-akimbo-director-jason-lei-howden-twitter-controversy.html

      He falsely accused two people of MURDER, using his film’s official twitter account. That had nothing to do with us and everything to do with the fact that he is a thin-skinned little fool who needs to permanently log off the internet lest he jeopardize any of his other projects in the same way.
      We used our story about what happened to us as a foil to show that this behaviour for Howden is NOT new.

      So again – you can think whatever you like of us – there’s many hills to die on, but really, simping for Howden isn’t the one I would choose, but you do you man, you do you.

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