Extended Play Massacre Vol. 1: Destroying Pissing Serpents

My email inbox is clogged up like the last stall in the line at the local dive bar (the good one, not the gentrified “safe”one), complete with puddles of piss, obscene graffiti advertising a number to call if I’m in need of a good time, and shit aplenty. Like so much shit; it’s cresting the bowl guys.

With shit logs sloshing around around like so many orange slices in that punch bowl you spiked with LSD at Tom’s sisters party that one time in high school, the good runs the risk of getting flushed with the bad. EP’s generally aren’t long enough to warrant a full review on their own so I’m going to use this ongoing column/series/whatever to talk about a bunch of EP’s at a time.



“Destroying Chapels” – Sacrocurse

Sacrocurse really let you know what they’re about before you hit play on this short blast of hatred, appropriately titling it “Destroying Chapels” so you know what to play for Grandma on the way to church Sunday morning. Grandma always did love blast beats, and she’s in for a real treat here. 15 minutes of animalistic brutality and the hot blooded anger of a cornered beast pour forth from the speakers as Sacrocurse tear through the four tracks on this EP, carving out a place in the pantheon of South American extreme metal. The standout track on here is “Destroying Chapels”, assaulting with ordinance-like blasts of frenetic drumwork and a razorlike guitar sound that provide a framework for the baleful screams of a damned soul. The cover of Bathoey’s “Total Destruction” at the end of the EP is none too shabby either. Word on the street (ok, Facebook) is that Sacrocurse just completed recording their next full length just a few weeks ago so thankfully I don’t need to wait long to hear more from them.



“The Pissing Link” – Shaving the Werewolf

Lets get this off my chest and then I can tell you all the good stuff I have to say about this EP. The “wacky” name and neon nightmare art style immediately brought to the forefront of my marijuana-addled mind Horse The Band, which for those who know anything about those equestrian enthusiasts might not be a good thing. Don’t worry though,  there’s nothing remotely “core” about Shaving the Werewolf; They wouldn’t be on this site if there were. “The Pissing Link” a jumbled, noisy, metallic mess of an EP and I kinda like it for that. My tastes don’t really stray towards noise very often, but its use is spare and tasteful enough here that it actually enhances what’s going on around it instead of distracting and overwhelming the song. “Earth Song” is my jam here because it’s essentially two songs for the price of one and I’m a frugal mother fucker. Not an everyday listen, but I can see throwing this on once in a while to confuse my friends and weird people out.



“Heralding Ceremonial Mass Obliteration”  – Serpents Athirst

Apparently, some Blasphemy albums made their way to Sri Lanka and further spread the Ross Bay Cult agenda (whatever the fuck that is beyond rumored grave desecration and teenage tomfoolery). That’s the only explanation i  can come to when i listen to “Heralding Ceremonial Mass Obliteration” and find myself reminded of the war metal created by BC’s own war metal/goat metal/who-fucking-cares-it’s-abrasive-as-fuck metal progenitors Blasphemy and the Ross Bay Cult alumni. If you find yourself wandering a desert of by the numbers bedroom black metal, Sleep influenced (and inducing) stoner doom and melo-death only the bands mothers could love then let this EP be your oasis. Serpents Athirst have filled their debut EP (the only other recorded material is a split with Solitary Depression as far as I can tell) with snarls, wails, blast beats and enough razor sharp guitar work that melds black and death into something so much more than the sum of its parts that you’ll just want to leave this EP on repeat for a while.


-find Scotty lamenting his over-stuffed inbox on Twitter

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