Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Avenged Sevenfold – “Beast And The Harlot”

Well ahoy there you booze soaked cretins of the spooky dark!  How has this week been treating you so far?  Did you stay up late last night finishing a paper for a class you don’t give a shit about and then went home to get turbo stoned and ended up watching old comedy routines on youtube in your underwear while telling your cat that you will one day make her your wife……?

…No?

uh…  I sense I may have gone too far!  ANYWAYS.  After last week’s epic high of High on Fire’s “The Falconist”, I figured that like mixing cocaine and ketamine, that I would plunge you, my spooky little darklings, into a world of scary things and stupidity..  especially the last bit.  I really should become one of those crazy dominatrix’s or something, or I should just go get a job where I torture people..  I heard Guantanamo Bay is no longer hiring..  Ah, what’s a girl to do.

Hey do you guys remember when Skinny Puppy was used at Guantanamo Bay to torture prisoners?  Shit, that’s just a regular Tuesday night over here.  If anyone wants to come over and let me attach car battery clamps to their testicles while we listen to The Process on vinyl on repeat, I will be here all night.

I like to dig around in the vile soup that is music past and I haven’t been able to let go of the stinking corpse of Avenged Sevenfold for some reason.  I’m like a cat that found something dead and can’t stop rolling around it and then comes home for kisses and tuna and no one will have me.  The point of the matter is that holy shit..  I just can’t let this go.

i'm super high and i've been laughing at this for over fifteen minutes

i’m super high and i’ve been laughing at this for over fifteen minutes

Seriously.  I think I can’t let this go because I remember hearing this song BACK IN THE DAY and being told how “creative” and “unique” the storytelling was.  Nevermind that this story is from the Bible and all..  nah, this chubby bitch down here wrote it all by himself.

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Seriously that dude has such chubby little cheeks, I just wanna pop em like an over ripe pimple.  He looks like he should be dressed in bobby socks playing tiddlywinks.  What you doin, boy?  Take that red eyeshadow off your face, you look like you have an eye infection.

damn

That tubby little bitch is licking a kit kat wrapper I swear to god, and everyone in this photo is embodying the definition of trying way too hard.  God damn this shit is just too much for me.

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OH MY GOD

Anywho, check out this video below for more fail cats and lulz.  Watch for the creepy little kid interspersed with terrible fake titted Vegas strippers, because yeah, if this wasn’t a candidate for WTFery, then I don’t know what is.

This shining city built of gold, a far cry from innocence,
There’s more than meets the eye round here, look to the waters of the deep.
A city of evil.
There sat a seven-headed beast, ten horns raised from his head.
Symbolic woman sits on his throne, but hatred strips her and leaves her naked.
The Beast and the Harlot.

She’s a dwelling place for demons.
She’s a cage for every unclean spirit,
Every filthy bird and makes us drink
The poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

The city dressed in jewels and gold, fine linen, myrrh and pearls.
Her place will come all at once as mourners watch her burn.
Destroyed in an hour.
Merchants and captains of the world, sailors, navigators too.
Will weep and mourn this loss with her sins piled to the sky,
The Beast and the Harlot.

She’s a dwelling place for demons.
She’s a cage for every unclean spirit,
Every filthy bird and makes us drink
The poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

The day has come for all us sinners.
If you’re not a servant, you’ll be struck to the ground.
Flee the burning, greedy city.
Lookin’ back on her to see there’s nothing around.

I don’t believe in fairytales and no one wants to go to hell.
You’ve made the wrong decision and it’s easy to see.
Now if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us,
You’re welcome to the city where your future is set forever.

[x2:]
She’s a dwelling place for demons.
She’s a cage for every unclean spirit,
Every filthy bird and makes us drink
The poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

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So remember kids – wearing red eyeshadow is dumb, take huge oversized lollipops to greasy strip clubs and ALWAYS stay spooky.

OH and one more thing – to the jacked up MMA douchenozzle who followed me on instagram and called me the Whore of Babylon, this one is for you sweetcheeks.  ^___^

You can find the oldblackgoat on twitter wearing Bobby Socks and riding around on a seven headed beast.

One response to “Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Avenged Sevenfold – “Beast And The Harlot”

  1. Pingback: Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Avenged Sevenfold “The Stage” | DRUNK IN A GRAVEYARD·

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