Trash/Thrash Tuesday: Cradle of Filth – “Deflowering the Maidenhead, Displeasuring the Goddess”

Greetings scumbags. How are you doing this week? Have you been recovering from the celebrations of either Canada Day or the 4th of July? Did you run around your friends backyard drunk on apple pie moonshine with one shoe on waving around a sparkler? If you didn’t, you are a commie pinko and we have no use for your socialism. Kindly see yourselves out. I got super saiyan drunk on apple pie moonshine last week and was too busy screaming to post a Trash/Thrash piece for you, so I do hope that you will impart unto me some understanding, because I am a terrible drunk. All that aside, I have really prepared quite the Trash/Thrash Tuesday for you strange sexual bastards.
On June 24, 2015 Cradle of Filth premiered their new song/video called “Deflowering the Maidenhead, Displeasuring the Goddess” and across the internet lulz were had.

Since I’m a sucker for punishment and also may or may not be harboring a secret lesbian crush on Dani Filth, I knew of course that I had to feature this musical excrement for you all to suffer unto.

Check this shit out:

Cracked Mirrors scatter reflection
Beauty falls from Her state of perfection
Good grace has fled this dream
While the Cats away
The Rats will Ravage

Despotic, Necrotic fingers
Have lingered with Rape’s Affection
Hoods face this global scene
As they stoop to prey
Nature grows more savage

She shudders at our foetal fatal touch
Heavenly Her body reft
and left amongst the Dead
Once grateful seeds in Her natal hutch
Our species breeds
Deflowering the Maidenhead

Religion caw epistles
Twisted laws extend their thristles
A crown to justify
Our place atop this hellbound carriage

This judgment has come from on high
Deforesters pray to the amplified sky
stripped of Her gowns
Temples ripped down
Her curses hearse NOW
This judgment has come from on high
Look at Her spears
With true fear in your eyes

Summoning the coven
The four horsemen eschaton
She the sumptuous Earth
Deep scars were forced upon

Queen Catastrophia seer renewal grew to see
Humanity in ruins sped to Death on rotten knees

We freed the flames that came to haunt Her
The greed that tore Her Elvish bodice

She was the storm that warmed to slaughter
Our selfish needs
Displeasuring the Goddess

Plastering disaster
Faster pandemics appear
Anthropocentric pockets
Last plagues are spreading near

Grand levelling with seven tongues acerbic whore-astride
As the oceans swell in venom at our slick black ecocide

This judgment has come from on high
Poisoners choke on the smoke-ridden Sty
Forewarnings ignored
Faith in a Lord
Life’s blessings uncared for
This judgment has come from on high
Suffer this Kiss as She whispers goodbye
Goodbye…

What have we done?
and what have we become?
In this distance from our mother,
From the gates of late Eden?

Blinded, undone
Glowering into the sun
A world of mass congrestion smothered
In the waste of late Eden

and what of Her?
Gaia, Cybele
where is jewelled Ishtar
That shone forth like the stars?

Now maniacal She moves against us all
To destroy recreate anew
To dance amok amidst annihilation

Extinction greets foul creatures left
Deflowering the Maidenhead
Displeasuring the Goddess

Soooo.. does Dani Filth just sit around with the spooky version of thesaurus and pick the strangest sounding words out of the common vernacular with which to screech like a siren of the deep unto us? These lyrics pretty much are awful and the last thing my lady boner needed was Dani Filth screeching about rape. I know that its the about the rape of nature etc etc, but still, the face in my nightmares leaning over me while furiously stroking his penis is from now on going to be Dani Filth and his super lulzy Jack Skellington makeup.

From the graveyard to the pumpkin patch – Maybelline gets you there.

Also, I feel that anything Dani Filth does is displeasurable – from his collection of lovely frocks, his inability to be anything other than spoopy cranked up to ten, or really just who he seems to be as a person – a try hard fool.

I said it previously in my Trash/Thrash pieces about good old Cradle of Flith (just say it. Flith) that if you’re over the age of 20 and you still listen to this shit, please go smash your head against a rock for a while, apologize to the Devil, go buy a PORTAL vinyl and make right with yourself.

Further, I think if you’re a fifty year old dude rocking around in a vinyl shirt and pants you bought at Hot Topic, you should really be thinking of checking yourself into the goddamn nuthouse. There’s a section on the admissions form under “reason for admission” and it says “WEARING SHITTY GOTH GEAR/WATCHING NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS AFTER THE AGE OF 22”. I’m a medical professional. You can trust me.