So, there’s a magical Bigfoot creature reeking havoc around a Pennsylvania suburb while some reasonably hot Native American broad with magic arrows is sent out to hunt it down. After a few near misses and TERRIFYING encounters with the savage beast, she eventually teams up with a wimpy news writer, desperately looking for his next big story.

It should come as no surprise that the premise here wasn’t all that spectacular or even mildly interesting. The only thing “Suburban Sasquatch” had going for it was it’s cavalcade of ungodly amateurish practical AND digital effects. The technical ingenuity the film displayed had all the fucking fluidity and professionalism of a “Tim & Eric” sketch – one of the worst being the tossing of a police car, which consisted of a superimposed, one-dimensional, disproportionate image of a car that is supposedly thrown, though appears upright and in place in the very next shot. There’s also a scene where a group of redneck hunters toss a net over, and subdue, the suburban Sasquatch, which, for some inexplicable reason, called for an entirely CGI creature AND net while all the Bigfoot is doing is laying there motionless. Also, this movie features one of the cheesiest (albeit, hilarious looking) Bigfoot costumes ever captured on camera. For some reason, they felt the need to give it big lumpy tits with giant nipples, clearly drawn on with lipstick. And it’s roar sounded like violent, flu-induced diarrhea shit cramps on a tight, poorly recorded loop.